It’s hard to believe, but the last installment of The Chick List was all the way back in September 2008! Isn’t it about time for a sequel? Yes, it is. So here is The Chick List 2011: The Revenge of the Brunettes.
Note that I made an effort to vary it up a little. There’s no sense in doing a whole new list if 90% of the women are the same, no? Also, I neglected to add one of my all-time celebrity crushes (Scarlett Johansson) to the list because I didn’t think to add her until the last minute, and already had my top 15. A “Top 16” list just seemed odd, I just decided to leave her off this year’s list.
As always, click any thumbnail to enlarge.
#15 Sarah Smart – OK, I know what you might be thinking… “what the hell, dude?” And I can get where you’re coming from. But British actress Sarah Smart has been in a million overseas TV shows, and it seems like in most of them (especially Jane Hall) she plays a kind of “sweet ditz”. She almost seems like a lost little puppy, with all the sweetness that entails, although it’s not nearly as condescending as it sounds.
#14 Sara Rue – One of my most guilty pleasures was the late 90s show Popular. Part of the reason for this is because everyone on the show was pretty: the mom, the dad, the school principal… everyone (except for one teacher who was supposed to be ugly and androgynous). I thought Sara Rue was pretty even then.. but even though I knew her weight had yo-yo’ed a bit over the years, I was gobsmacked when I walked in on Lisa watching Shedding for the Wedding, hosted by a svelte and sexy Sara. But you know what? I don’t want to be that entirely superficial with this list. I thought she was pretty back then and I think she’s pretty now. So you know what? You go girl!
#13 Daisy Lowe – Here’s the thing: Daisy Lowe is the daughter of singer\songwriter turned fashion designer Pearl Lowe and Gavin Rossdale, lead singer of the band Bush and Gwen Stafani’s current husband (Rossdale also had a homosexual relationship with Boy George’s friend Marilyn back in the 80s – that guy sure got around, huh?). Anyway, Lowe began modeling at the ago of 2, and modeled off and on for several years until 2006, when she took to it full-time. She’s become Britain’s premiere pin-up girl, and it’s not hard to see why. It’s hard to find “safe for work” images of her on Google!
#12 Natalie Dormer – Most Americans know Natalie Dormer from her role as Anne Boleyn in The Tudors. But she’s been in many things on British TV, most often with her natural blonde hair. She recently appeared in the show Silk, where she played a posh young law student. There’s just something… inherently naughty about this girl. I’m not saying she’s a slut or anything. But I do think your first kiss with her might involve her biting your bottom lip, you know what I mean?
#11 Bridget Moynahan – I shouldn’t call Bridget a “sexy older woman” (she’s actually about six weeks younger than me). But dammit, she is a sexy older woman. This girl’s got it goin’ on!
#10 Rebecca Hazlewood – I’m normally not attracted to Indian girls (Aishwarya Rai aside). But the main reason I keep watching NBC’s Outsourced is because of Hazlewood. She doesn’t take the best pictures in the world, but seeing her in motion… she’s really pretty! And she has a really beautiful smile, too. Plus, she’s English, and her accent is yummy!
#9 Joanna Vanderham – Vanderham is, quite literally, a brand new actress. Her IMDB page lists a single credit – Martina Cole’s The Runaway, which is currently airing on Sky 1 in the UK. No, she’s not beautiful, but damn this girl is all kinds of cute (especially in the 1960s haircuts on the show). Like Hazlewood, this girl is prettier in motion than in pictures, so check out this trailer for the show. If you just don’t get why I think she’s cute… well, that’s fine. Just imagine if Julia Stiles was prettier. And English.
#8 Olivia Wilde – Man, is this one of the hottest women alive or what? And ya know… I like butts and legs as much as the next guy, but I’ve really been a “boob man” since day 1. You might have noticed that Wilde is somewhat… lacking in that area. Sometimes, a small chested girl can be sexy, and Wilde is absolutely that. She’s proof that angular can be beautiful!
#7 Sofia Vergara – And here’s the exact opposite of Olivia Wilde. Sofia Vergara has enough “hips and tits” for the both of them. What else is there to say about her, really? Oh, she seems pretty funny on talk shows, so that’s sexy too. And yes, her accent is just as bad in real life as it is on Modern Family.
#6 Marion Cotillard – Is Marion Cotillard pretty? Well, maybe. But is she a sexy, sophisticated French woman? Yes indeedy! Is she the kind of woman you’d see art-house films with and then go to an outdoors café to drink coffee and smoke Gitanes and discuss the auteur’s use of mise en scène? Yes indeedy. And sometimes that’s exactly what you want.
#5 Eva Green – For all I know, Eva Green could be a prude. But I tell ya, she gives off a vibe like few actresses out there. I haven’t seen her in person or in interviews or anything – so I’m just basing this on characters she plays and the layouts she does for magazines – but when one sees her on the screen or in pictures, he gets the strong impression that she would do naughty, naughty things to you. She seems like the kind of girl you’d meet in a bar and take back to your place, and she’d want you to spank her or something. Hawt.
#4 Julie Benz – The most MILF-tastic woman on this list by far. Yeah, by Hollywood standards she ain’t all that. But don’t lie guys… if you saw her walking around Food Lion [who am a kidding? She’d totally shop at Harris Teeter!] you’d stop dead in your tracks and check her out, wouldn’t you? And although many seem to hate her voice, I find it sexy. Think about it: you’re talking on the phone with her, and she’s talking about taking the kids to soccer practice and picking up the dry cleaning and whatnot, and out of the blue she adds “…and then I’ll slip into something a little more comfortable”. Wow!
#3 Alison Brie – Sure, she’s the stuck-up and somewhat frigid Trudy on Mad Men. But she’s also the cute and quirky nerd Annie Edison on Community. Ounce for ounce, this girl has the best rack on television, and if you don’t agree it’s only because you haven’t seen the animated GIFs yet. Even better, Brie seems to be a bit of a nerd in real life, and doesn’t seem to take herself all that seriously.
#2 Jenna Fischer – I dunno what it is about Jenna Fischer. True, there was the dream I had that one time, but that was long after I started crushing on her. She seems so approachable and real, ya know? I think Pam Beesley somehow represents all the “average girls” I didn’t date in high school because I was “too cool” for them… but ended up hot in the end.
#1 Jill Wagner – Could there be any other? This woman is just every kind of hot there is. I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that she was raised by her father (her mother is apparently crazy and left home when Jill was young). It would certainly explain her love of football, guns and muscle cars. And really fellas… could there be anything sexier than a girl like Jill Wagner walking up to you and saying “hey, you wanna hop in my ’65 Mustang and go watch the Steelers game? Careful: I keep a loaded .45 under the seat!” No sir, there is not.