Author: Jim Cofer

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Why We Need “Network Neutrality” (part 1)

“Network neutrality” is concept whereby all data packets (and devices) are treated equally on a computer network. In laymen’s terms, a “network neutral” ISP would not discriminate between basic web surfing, email traffic, streaming video traffic, P2P traffic, VoIP traffic, podcast traffic, instant messaging traffic, and so on. Each and every data packet would be treated exactly the same, regardless of where it comes from or what it contains. If this sounds like the basic definition of “the Internet” to you… well, you’d be right.

As it stands now, most ISPs in the US are running more or less neutral networks. But this might not be the case tomorrow, or the next day. And although a few large US ISPs are currently experimenting with ditching network neutrality as it relates to illicit file trading, these same ISPs have, in the not too distant past, discussed grandiose plans for shattering the Internet as we know it. It’s called “tiered service”.

Basically, ISPs want to charge websites and content providers to allow “guaranteed delivery” of their content. If a content provider can’t (or won’t) pay these “quality of services fees”, then their data will be pushed to “the back of the bus”. While it doesn’t sound like a terribly bad idea at first, the end result of these fees would be a disaster for end users and content providers. Content providers would have to negotiate such fees with any ISP that wished to implement tiered service; although most US Internet users are serviced by a handful of giant ISPs, there are still thousands of small ISPs that content providers would have to negotiate with. Such fees would also cut deeply into the bottom lines of many content providers. So your favorite podcast or streaming audio\video site might simply choose to shut down rather than pay out the nose for something they’ve had for free for years. “Mom and Pop” Internet sites and blogs might cease to exist entirely. Start-up companies developing new and innovative Internet technologies would see their products langish for lack of funds to pay an “ISP tax”. Some companies might choose to leave the U.S. altogether for “network neutral” countries in Europe or Asia. And of course, ISPs could enter into agreements with certain companies that give them kickbacks… so Comcast could have a “preferred online bank” that loads much faster than some other online bank that doesn’t pay the ISP tax or enter into a licensing agreement with Comcast. Imagine a world where Google refuses to enter into such an agreement with an ISP and refuses to pay the ISP tax… now imagine all your Google searches timing out and giving you errors while “Yahoo! Search Brought To You By Comcast” works beautifully. Or imagine if iTunes were to resist jumping on the tiered service bandwagon… suddenly your iTunes purchases take hours to download instead of seconds as they did before, and Comcast’s only solution is for you to sign up for their “ComcasticMusic” site… where tracks cost $2.99 each instead of 99¢ and have more draconian DRM than their Apple counterparts. THAT’S tiered service in a nutshell.

Continue reading “Why We Need “Network Neutrality” (part 1)”

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“Shudder…”

Ya know, I always considered myself to be 100% heterosexual… but then I saw this pic of Amy Winehouse walking around in just a bra and jeans:

Winehouse

…and then I questioned my sexuality. My God, that girl is UGLY! Pink looks absolutely feminine in comparison! Excuse me while I wash my eyes out with bleach!

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“Irish Hospitality”

So – on Tuesday of this week I was hanging out at the Straight Dope forums. I was specifically in the “Cafe Society” forum, and one of the topics was “Restaurant food fads that should be retired”. In that thread, people railed against chipotle seasoning, ranch dressing, flavored ice tea and Cajun food.

In fact, many people in that thread are apparently sick and tired of Cajun food. One poster in that thread was not only fed up with Cajun food, but also posted a link to this restaurant in Dublin. It’s supposed to be a “Cajun restaurant”, but everyone in the thread got a big laugh out of the restaurant’s description of “Cajun” and “Creole” cuisine:

Cajun is believed to have been the food of poor Negro folks, who lived along the waterways and swamps that dot Louisiana. Creole on the other hand, was the more aristocratic cuisine of the up tempo New Orleans city people.

And yes, before you ask, the people that posted that were being serious. Apparently, some people in Ireland think that Cajun cuisine comes from “poor Negro folks”. Nevermind that the stupid bastards called them “Negro folks” – why not just call them “niggers” while you’re at it? – these people run a Louisiana-themed restaurant… and apparently have no fucking clue where the food they serve comes from! Yes, “Cajun food” comes from “poor Negro folks”… just like potatoes come from China and the waltz comes from India.

A lot of folks got a laugh from the site, myself included. Nevertheless, I wanted to let the “poor Irish folks” know just how idiotic they sounded to… well, anyone from the United States… so I sent them a polite comment correcting them not only on their errors about “Cajun food”, but also their misunderstanding about Creole cuisine. A couple of days later, I got this for all my trouble:

Hi Jim,
I have taken your comments on board.
As you can see i have forwarded this on to my manager.
Drostann

—– Original Message —–
From: “Jim Cofer”
To:
Sent: Tuesday, December 04, 2007 7:24 PM
Subject: FROM TANTE ZOES WEBSITE

> Below is the result of your feedback form. It was submitted by
> Jim Cofer (jim@myemailaddress.com) on Tuesday, December 4, 2007 at 19:24:44
> ————————————————————————–
–
>
> Phone Number: 704-555-1212
>
> MESSAGE: Please fix your history section.
>
> Cajun food came from the Acadian French that settled in Louisiana after
fleeing the Brits in Canada. It has nothing to do with “Negroes”.
>
> Creole, on the other hand, is a mixture of African, Caribbean, Spanish and
French. It’s “city” food, but not necessarily “aristocratic”.
>
> Thank you.

A couple of minutes later, I got this in my inbox:

Robbie!!
Check this out!
The things i have to put up with!!

Drostann

—– Original Message —–
From: “Jim Cofer”
To:
Sent: Tuesday, December 04, 2007 7:24 PM
Subject: FROM TANTE ZOES WEBSITE

> Below is the result of your feedback form. It was submitted by
> Jim Cofer (jim@myemailaddress.com) on Tuesday, December 4, 2007 at 19:24:44
> ————————————————————————–
–
>
> Phone Number: 704-555-1212
>
> MESSAGE: Please fix your history section.
>
> Cajun food came from the Acadian French that settled in Louisiana after
fleeing the Brits in Canada. It has nothing to do with “Negroes”.
>
> Creole, on the other hand, is a mixture of African, Caribbean, Spanish and
French. It’s “city” food, but not necessarily “aristocratic”.
>
> Thank you.
>
> ————————————————————————–
–
> —
> No virus found in this incoming message.
> Checked by AVG Free Edition.
> Version: 7.5.503 / Virus Database: 269.16.14/1171 – Release Date:
04/12/2007 19:31

Classy! I send them a helpful email… trying to tell them that they look like idiots to the rest of the world… and what do I get? A cc: with the line “The things i have to put up with!!”

So you know what? To hell with you, you stupid fucking Micks! If you want to look like complete morons to the rest of the world… knock yourselves out! That was the last time I ever help one of you potato farming, whiskey abusing, wife beating, dirt floor having, Pope worshipping bastards ever!

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The Mystery of Waldseemuller

You might not think that maps are very interesting. I’ll grant you that looking at maps probably won’t surpass going to the movies or playing video games as “fun entertainment”. But maps can be interesting. Looked at as a timeline, maps have displayed man’s ever-increasing knowledge of the world around him. From early maps that look a lot like something a grade schooler might draw, maps have become ever more accurate.

While maps have been a showcase of the increase of knowledge, they’ve also displayed important changes in human history. Most maps made in the Middle Ages, for example, have Jerusalem as their center. As the influence of the Church waned and maps became important economic tools, Europe became the center of most maps. And of course, looking at maps with political boundaries can show how empires expand and contract, which countries merge with others or cease to exist entirely, and which new countries form out of the ashes of others.

Maps can also hold secrets. Secrets that stay hidden for centuries. Secrets that people have only noticed just now, and are still trying to understand. Take a look at the following map (click on it to open it in a new window or tab):

Waldseemuller Small

This map is called the “Waldseemuller map”. It is named after its creator, the German cartographer Martin Waldseemüller, who first published the map in 1507. The map initially gained fame as the first map that used the name “America” to refer to the New World. So in a very real sense, the reason you call yourself an “American” is because Martin Waldseemüller decided to put that name on his map. The map is also famous for its layout – with Europe in the center, the Americas to the left and Asia to the right. Almost all maps made since Waldseemüller’s day have used this same layout.

But there’s a lot more going on with this map that you might imagine. Look at the map carefully. At first glance, it might look like any other European map of the world from the time: the continents are shaped incorrectly and lots of places are missing. But look closer. South America is the land mass on the bottom left of the map. It might not look especially accurate, but if you were to rotate the map, such that the grid lines over South America were perfect rectangles, you’d probably be shocked by what you saw – a continent that looks almost exactly as it does on modern maps. In fact, recent study of the map has shown that Waldseemüller’s map accurately portrays the width of most of South America to a minuscule 70 miles compared to today’s maps, which are made by careful surveying and satellite technology. Let me repeat that: 500 years ago, a man in Germany made a map of South America that, compared to the best maps we can make today, is only “off” on most points by 70 miles.

The secret of this map is, of course, how Waldseemüller made such an accurate map. Although the Vikings or John Cabot might be able to lay claim to discovering North America, it’s well established that Christopher Columbus was the first European to set foot on South American soil. And he did that in 1498. So, somehow, in less than 9 years, Europeans were able to develop an astonishingly accurate map of an entire continent.

And the mystery deepens – a lot – when you consider the west coast of South America. According to history, Vasco Nunez de Balboa became the first European to reach the Pacific by land (1513) and Ferdinand Magellan was the first to reach the Pacific by sail (1520). So if these were the first two Europeans to reach the Pacific… how did Waldseemüller make this map in 1507? Was there a mission to map the west coast whose name has been lost to history? Did a secret mission attempt to map the west coast? Did Asian mapmakers share their secrets with Europeans? If so, where? And when? And how come no one wrote anything down about it? And how did all of this information come into the hands of a German in 1507? Germany wasn’t much of a sea-faring nation, and the Spanish and Portuguese would have done everything in their power to keep the map out of the hands of a heretic economic rival.

We honestly don’t know how Waldseemüller made his map. But trust me, there are researchers out there trying to find out how he did.

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The Ravens Almost Pull It Off!

Holy crap! Hooooly crap! Did anyone catch the Patriots\Ravens game on MNF tonight? The Ratbirds brought it to the Pats, and were in the lead with as little as 50 seconds left in the game. New England managed to put one in the end zone to take the lead 27-24 with around 45 seconds left. The Ravens got the ball back, and managed to toss a Hail Mary that was caught at around the 3 yard line. Unfortunately for the Ratbirds, the receiver was tackled immediately as the clock ran out.

My God – that was, in my humble opinion, the best game of the year so far. It was one of those games that you keep on tape so that the next time your wife\girlfriend asks you “why the hell do you watch so much football??” you pop the tape in and watch her start yelling and screaming too!

I sure hope that the Steelers coaches were watching the game (you know they were!). If Troy comes back the Steelers have a good chance at beating the Pats next Sunday!

EDIT: By the way… karma’s a bitch, ain’t it Cleveland? Haha.. Suck it, Brownies!

Kellen Winslow

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Evel Knievel dead at 69!

CLEARWATER, Fla. – Evel Knievel, the red-white-and-blue-spangled motorcycle daredevil whose jumps over crazy obstacles including Greyhound buses, live sharks and Idaho’s Snake River Canyon made him an international icon in the 1970s, died Friday. He was 69.

Knievel’s death was confirmed by his granddaughter, Krysten Knievel. He had been in failing health for years, suffering from diabetes and pulmonary fibrosis, an incurable condition that scarred his lungs.

Read more here. It’s a sad day for those of us who were little boys with bicycles and Big Wheels in the 70s.

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SONGS I LOVE: “Modern Love”

The Last Town ChorusGrowing up in the 80s, I was a fan of David Bowie. This was due, in large part, to the hits of his “Let’s Dance” album: “China Girl”, “Let’s Dance”, and (of course) “Modern Love”. This past summer, one of the cable networks – A&E, I think – did a retrospective on Princess Diana on the 10-year anniversary of her death. The commercials advertising the special featured a lot of slow-motion video of Diana with a haunting version of “Modern Love” playing in the background. I did a little Internet digging and found out that the band that did the song is called The Last Town Chorus, from Brooklyn, New York. With a little more digging I was able to find the song itself, which I’ll share with you in this post.

The only consistent member of the band is vocalist\steel guitarist Megan Hickey. Like Trent Reznor of Nine Inch Nails, Hickey seems to play with all kinds of musicians under the “Last Town Chorus” moniker. But that’s neither here nor there. Hickey takes Bowie’s pop-dance tune and turns in into a slow, atmospheric tune. It’s almost as if Mazzy Star covered the song… but not quite. It’s hardly a “happy” take on the song, but although it’s “slow” that doesn’t mean that it’s “sad” either. Just slow and pretty! Have a listen and decide for yourself:

[audio:last_town.mp3]

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More News…

Hi Folks! I’m still looking for my muse, so enjoy some news whilst my writer’s block continues…

It looks like Morrissey is suing British music magazine NME for some comments he “allegedly” made. Moz was quoted as saying “Although I don’t have anything against people from other countries, the higher the influx into England the more the British identity disappears. So the price is enormous. If you travel to Germany, it’s still absolutely Germany. If you travel to Sweden, it still has a Swedish identity. But travel to England and you have no idea where you are”. Tim Jonze, the freelance journalist that interviewed Morrissey, claimed to be “offended” by the comments, but published them anyway. NME published a follow-up interview; in it, Morrissey dusts off the old “taken out of context” chesnut, but doesn’t deny making the comments.

The freedom-fighters at the Electronic Frontier Foundation (EFF) published a study this week that shows that Comcast does, in fact, tamper with Bittorrent traffic. Read all about it here at Ars Technica. As to what “Bittorrent tampering” is, and why you should care, wait until next week when I publish a gigantic rant about the topic. It’ll be worth the wait, I promise!

This news is a bit old, but funny nevertheless: it seems that U.S. Air somehow never had a New Mexico liquor license. The airline realized its mistake after it was fined by the state for “over-serving” a passenger that drove himself home from the airport and killed a family of five in the process. The airline applied for, and received, a temporary license while it began the process of applying for a permanent one.  But then another U.S. Air passenger was arrested for DUI – once again from drinks served in-flight. This, along with a third incident in which New Mexico liquor board members observed U.S. Air employees giving an obviously intoxicated man more alcohol, has led to U.S. Air’s liquor license being denied by the state. So, for the time being, alcohol is verboten on any U.S. Air flights coming from, or going to, New Mexico. Good job, guys!

Lastly, have you heard about the bracelet and the chicken? It seems that one Aaron Giles grew up in Fairmont, Minnesota, but often played with his siblings at his grandparent’s farm in nearby Sherburn. One day, when he was 4 or 5, he lost an ID bracelet that had his name and address on it. He never found it, and just wrote it off as something lost forever. His grandparents eventually passed away. Their barn was torn down and much of the barn’s wood was saved to build a new barn in the town of Elmore, around 45 miles away. Back in September Giles, now 31, received something in the mail… the ID bracelet! Theories abound, but the best guess is that Aaron’s bracelet somehow ended up getting trapped in the barn’s infrastructure. It survived the trip to Elmore and became part of the new barn. A chicken subsequently found and swallowed the bracelet – seeing as it was found in the guts of a chicken that had just been slaughtered. Olson Locker, the butcher that slaughtered the chicken, asked old-timers his native Fairmont about the Giles family and was eventually able to track down Aaron’s father in Scottsdale, Arizona. Aaron’s dad gave Locker his son’s address in Gloucester, Massachusetts, and the boy and his bracelet were reunited… after 25 years and one chicken’s belly!

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A WARNING for Verizon Customers

Do you use Verizon Wireless? If you do, you might not want to upgrade your phone any time soon. It seems that all new cell phones sold by Verizon make a loud, obnoxious alarm sound when you dial 911. Imagine this: you’re home alone one night, and suddenly you hear what sounds like someone trying to break in. A few moments later, you hear what sounds like someone walking around downstairs. You reach for the cell phone on your nightstand… press 9-1-1-SEND and suddenly your phone goes

“WHOOP-WHOOP-WHOOP-WHOOP-WHOOP-WHOOP”

This all came to light recently thanks to a woman in Austin, Texas named Carol (she refused to use her last name in the news story). Carol owns some land in Austin, and decided to check on it one day. When she arrived, she saw signs of vandalism. Fearing that the vandals might still be in the area, she reached for her new Verizon G’zOne phone, dialed 911 and… “WHOOP-WHOOP-WHOOP-WHOOP”.

The local media jumped on the story (read all about it here; watch the video on that page to hear the actual sound the phone makes when you dial 911). Verizon admitted that all of their new phones make an alarm when 911 is dialed. In fact, Verizon blamed an FCC regulation called “Section 255 of the Telecommunications Code” for the alarm. The FCC has said that that regulation – which requires cellular providers to offer phones that notify the customer when dialing 911 – does not require an audible alarm. In fact, an FCC spokerperson said that “[t]he Commission has not implemented any rules pursuant to Section 255 that would require the use of any tones concerning 911 calls”.

No more news has come of this yet. As of “press time”, all new Verizon phones still make that alarm sound, and the end user still cannot disable the alarm. I’m guessing that Verizon will push out a firmware update the will make the alarm optional… but that’s just a guess. I’ll keep up with this story and let you know what the dealio is…

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Today’s Ramblings…

Remember the 80s band Midnight Oil? Peter Garrett – the band’s lead singer – has long been an “environmental activist” in his native Australia, and now he can put his money where his mouth is: incoming Australian prime minister Kevin Rudd has appointed Garrett as Australia’s “environmental minister”.

This is kind of neat: a new free web service called PrinterAnywhere lets you (or your friends, colleagues, etc.) print documents over the Internet! Let’s say that you often need to print reports from a particular program at work. For whatever reason, you can’t install this program on your home computer, so if you want to read a report at home you have to print it at work and remember to take it home with you. With PrinterAnywhere you only need to sign up for a free account, install their software (which shares your printer) and print it from your work computer… and it’ll print on your home printer! This could be a godsend for people that work from home, or for small companies that have several offices but lack an IT budget to connect them all via VPN. A bit of a warning though: print jobs are held in a queue on PrinerAnywhere’s website… so your home computer doesn’t need to be on all the time; as soon as you boot your PC, the software connects to the Internet and downloads the print jobs. This might squick-out the security-minded types out there.

A lot of European luxury goods makers are in trouble as of late. It seems that top-shelf names like Gucci and Prada are outsourcing much of their production to China. In some cases, the posh companies are importing goods that are 3/4 complete and doing “just enough” work on them in Italy to be allowed to legally put “Made in Italy” labels on them. In other instances, they’re stamping the “Made in China” label in the most inconspicuous place possible (like at the bottom of a purse’s inside pocket), or are stamping it in black ink on black leather. Some of these companies are even brazenly removing the “Made in China” tags and replacing them with “Made in Italy” ones. And believe it or not, some of these companies are even importing illegal Chinese workers to do the work for them: the Tuscan town of Prato – long the center of Italian leathermaking – now has Europe’s second largest Chinese population after Paris. That’s right: there are more Chinese people in a tiny Tuscan town you’ve probably never head of then there are in London, Berlin or Madrid.

Ever heard of Zug.com? It’s another one of those “Internet humor” sites, but Zug is also known for the pranks their users play on people. One of the “Zugsters” – John Hargrave – got sick and tired of hearing the credit card pitch that U.S. Air announces over the loudspeaker on every U.S. Air flight… so he called the company’s marketing guy at 5am – to pitch his own credit card! Read all about it here; be sure to read page 3 of the prank, which has a complete transcript of the call – you’ll bust a gut laughing!