20 Things I Love About Charlotte

A Facebook friend recently posted a list of his top 5 favorite things about living in Charlotte, North Carolina. I decided to do my own list… but 5 became 10, 10 became 15, and 15 became 20. You know how it goes.

And so, without further ado… my 20 favorite things about Charlotte!

20) RICHARDS’ BP – OK, so a “good mechanic” isn’t just a Charlotte thing. But here in Belmont we’ve got this independent little garage that’s AWESOME. If there’s a problem with your car, and one fix costs $20 and the other $200, they’ll ALWAYS go the $20 route, unless there’s a good reason not to. They also trust us: “just drive it for a few days and see if the fix we tried works. If not, come back and we’ll try something else. If it does, stop by and pay us whenever”. I’ve been to dozens of repair shops in my life, and this truly is the only one I’ve ever trusted.

19) PRICE’S CHICKEN COOP (link) – No joke: it’s the best fried chicken in the whole world. There are a couple of downsides though. The main one is that it’s take-out only. If you want the hottest, freshest chicken goodness, you have to eat it in your car… especially if you like the potato rounds they give you as a side; they’re not very good after they cool off. Also, they’re cash-only, which is weird in 2014, especially since this place seems to be so big on feeding entire offices.

18) BRING BACK THE BUZZ (link) – The people of Charlotte loved the Hornets… but they really didn’t like the owner, George Shinn. So there were mixed emotions when Shinn moved the Hornets to New Orleans. But then Charlotte got a new NBA team, the Bobcats. But their owner, Bob Johnson, was kind of a jerk, too. Fans wanted the old team back… they wanted the Hornets. So a small but passionate group of fans began a campaign to bring back the name (and if you wonder why Charlotte loves the “Hornets” name so much, read this story on my History Blog). They Facebooked and Tweeted. They hassled the local media about it and made themselves hoarse by going to Bobcats games and chanting “CHAR-LOTTE HOR-NETS!” as loud as they could for as long as they could. And, in the end, they won.

17) MIDWOOD SMOKEHOUSE (link) – There’s this “thing” about barbecue places: fans are always looking for “authentic”, and in the case of barbecue that often means an 80 year-old lean-to located well away from a city, preferably run by an old black man named Gus who’s ornery as hell and only open two days a week. But if you want a normal barbecue restaurant, this is the place. The pork’s pretty good, but the brisket’s divine. The bacon wrapped smoked jalapenos might be the best appetizer I’ve ever eaten, and this is the one place where I always get dessert: warm pecan cobbler! They also have lots of local beers and not a lot of attitude: you don’t have to be “this cool” to eat there.

16) ACCENTS – Heel or Hill? Still or Steel? Pen or Pin? I lived here for two years before I found out that a city in the western part of the state is “Blowing Rock”, not “Boiling Rock”.

15) LOCAL BREWERIES – Truth be told, I’m growing weary of bars with beer menus the size of phone books, or beers that take longer for the waitress to describe than for me to actually drink. But a healthy local brewing scene is good for everybody. I really like NoDa Brewing and Birdsong… but in a lot of cases, I Just need a Guinness or a Natty Greene to be happy.

14) NODA (link) – Not the NoDa neighborhood itself. I mean, NoDa is cool and all, and it reminds me of a slightly rough around the edges Virginia Highland circa 1984. But what I really mean is “Sunday Funday in NoDa”: hanging out with my friends… eating tots at Solstice… playing games at The Blind Pig before all the douchebags show up. It’s a great day!

13) THE GERMAN BURGER AT SOLSTICE TAVERN – Truly the most underrated burger in the city. It’s Solstice’s standard beef patty, topped with bacon, sauerkraut and a homemade beer cheese sauce, and served on a pretzel bun. Now if you don’t like that sort of thing, you’re not going to like this. But if what I just described sounds delicious… yes, yes it is! Add some tots on the side and you’ve got a hell of a meal!

Continue reading “20 Things I Love About Charlotte”

BREAKING NEWS: Becker RESIGNS!

This was just posted on Yahoo! News:

GSU President Resigns; University Future Unclear

ATLANTA (API) – Embattled Georgia State University president Mark Becker, who agreed to a controversial “partnership” between Georgia Public Broadcasting and WRAS, the school’s student-run radio station, has resigned. According to Don Hale, the school’s vice-president of public relations, the resignation will take effect immediately.

At a hastily arranged press conference this afternoon, Becker announced that he would become the next president of Georgia Tech.

“The first thing I plan to do is sell off that silly car they drive around campus… the Wrecky Rambler? What do you call it? Anyway, my main man Bill Nigut collects old cars, and I think he’d like it,” Becker said.

“Then there’s that old whistle thing. I’ll give that to my pal Teya Ryan. It would make a great accent piece for T-Dog’s drawing room, plus she could use the whistle to summon ‘interns’ to bring her coffee or massage her feet,” Becker said, laughing.

When asked about his long-term plans for Georgia Tech, Becker had several suggestions.

“Well, there’s some kind of hot dog stand just across the interstate. I believe we could acquire the 6 acre site and turn it into a small stadium, which we could then lease to Georgia State at a usurious rate. After all, even a 3,000 seat stadium could fit Georgia State’s season ticket holders 8 times over.”

“We’re also looking into converting Bill Dodd Field into a Target. We feel students would benefit from an on-campus shopping experience, plus we could force students to work there for free under some kind of internship program.”

Becker became agitated when a reporter asked why the proposed Target store would be a franchise location owned by a holding company called Becker-Ryan Investments, LLC.

“Look, if you can think of a better way for me to acquire the massive amount of capital necessary to buy the High Museum so I can sell off all of Atlanta’s cultural treasures and turn that building into my personal residence, I’m all ears!”

When asked if he had any regrets about his time at Georgia State, Becker was wistful.

“I only wish I had come here years ago. I could have demolished useless music venues like the 588 Club, the Urbanplex and the Chambray Club. I could have turned them into some sort of corporate franchises that completely lack any local flavor. I could have stopped the Uptown Music Festival. I could have turned that Merry Mack’s restaurant into a Public Storage site. I could have even bought the Fellini’s Pizza chain and converted them into a quick service restaurant concept I’ve been working on called Uwe Boll’s House of Schweinskopfsülze. There are just… so many ways I could have destroyed Atlanta’s culture. It makes me sad to think about it.”

It wasn’t all sad news, though. Becker announced that his investment company had just completed the purchase of Fat Matt’s Rib Shack, an Atlanta institution.

“We’re going to close Fat Mike’s for a few weeks as we convert it to Skinny Mark’s Unflavored Gelatin Yurt. Atlantans are going to love it!”  

Becker’s press secretary later indicated that he is in talks with University of Georgia president Jere W. Morehead to purchase the legendary hedges at Sanford Stadium.

“Lord Becker says his front lawn is looking a bit ‘shabby’.

2014 Music at the Half

Well, this has been a weird year for music so far. I’ve been listening to tunes as much as ever, but as you’ll see, not a lot of it is from this year…

TOP ARTISTS

My top ten artists of 2014 so far, with playcount in parenthesis:

1) Marsheaux (350)
2) Gliss (111)
3) Cocteau Twins (107)
4) CHVRCHES (104)
5) Warpaint (63)
6) Washed Out (56)
7) The Raveonettes (55)
8) Saint Etienne (54)
9) Flunk (54)
10) Fotonovela (45)

TOP ALBUMS OVERALL 

Here are my top overall albums of 2014 so far. You’ll find the year of release in parenthesis along with the playcount:

1) Marsheaux – E-Bay Queen (2004, 147)
2) Gliss – Langsom Dans (2013, 111)
3) Marsheaux – Inhale (2013, 85)
4) CHVRCHES – The Bones of What You Believe (2013, 81)
5) Marsheaux – Lumineux Noir (2009, 60)
6) Flunk – Lost Causes (2013, 54)
7) Warpaint – Warpaint (2014, 53)
8) Fotonovela – A Ton of Love (2013, 45)
9) Sarah Cracknell – Lipslide (1997, 37)
10) Blondfire – Young Heart (2014, 35)

TOP 2014 ALBUMS

Here are my top albums released in 2014. Note the pathetically low playcounts so far:

1) Warpaint – Warpaint (53)
2) Blondfire – Young Heart (35)
3) Sylvan Esso – Sylvan Esso (23)
4) Pegase – Pegase (15)
5) flyingdeadman – sending fires to the sky (10)
6) Owlle – France (8)
7) Blackbird Blackbird – Tangerine Sky (8)
8) Kalax – Outlands (8)
9) Broken Bells – After the Disco (7)
10) Clan of Xymox – Matters of Mind, Body and Soul (7)

TOP TRACKS OF 2014

My top tracks of 2014. In parenthesis you’ll find the name of the source album, the year of release, and the playcount.

1) Marsheaux – “Analyze” (E-Bay Queen, 2004, 74)

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PKaQTUbg4W8

2) Marsheaux – “The Game” (E-Bay Queen, 2004, 47)
3) Flunk – “Queen Of The Underground” (Lost Causes, 2013, 45)

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mzypb67RWPs

4) Gliss – “A to B” (Langsom Dans, 2013, 38)

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n519ukAhcXI

5) Marsheaux – “So Far” (Lumineux Noir, 2009, 32)

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FjaC_r-rmhk

6) CHVRCHES – Recover (The Bones of What You Believe, 2013, 27)

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SQc7b-nKsLo

7) Still Corners – “Berlin Lovers” (Strange Pleasures, 2013, 26)

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hCD9g1pH6BA

8) Warpaint – “Love Is to Die” (Warpaint, 2014, 26)

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OnuFYYJHaY0

9) Gliss – “Hunting” (Langsom Dans, 2013, 19)

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vSMgEDz92Xs

10) Marsheaux – “Secret Place” (Inhale, 2013, 17)

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ni6_zZmJ86s

As always, thanks to the good folks at Last.fm for keeping track of my music listening. If you don’t have an account, why not sign up today?

The “Unknown Vigilante”

I was surfing the web yesterday, and just happened to stumble upon this photograph:

gsu_parking
(click to embiggen)

This was a parking lot near Georgia State University in Atlanta. It was a bit of a hike from campus, but it was always less crowded than the official university lots, and cheaper than private lots closer to the school. I parked there pretty much every weekday from 1993 to 1995.

The lot is gone now – replaced by GSU’s “Freshman Hall” – but back then the lot’s spaces were numbered, and there was a steel collection box with numbered slots (which you can see next to the tree on the left). You pulled into a space, noted your number, then put $3 in quarters or bills into the corresponding slot in the box. Simple, right?

Well, the parking company had a guy who would drive around and issue “tickets” to cars that hadn’t paid the fee. It wasn’t a real parking ticket, obviously, but it nevertheless demanded a “fine” of something like $5, in addition to the regular $3 fee. Since students needed to park there regularly, most folks would just pay the $8 and be done with it.

Every so often, though, the parking guy would go on a tear and issue “tickets” to cars whether they’d paid for parking or not. Every day for a week or so I’d walk to the lot after class and find a student cursing or crying, having gotten a ticket but insisting that they’d paid their $3. Like my lower back pain, I often thought about doing something about it… but by the time I did, the problem was gone: parking guy would stop issuing rogue tickets for a month or two.

But then the bastard gave me a ticket. Not only had I paid to park, I’d stopped at QuikTrip on the way in to get a Dr Pepper and break a $5 bill into dollar bills. Let me repeat that: I made a SPECIAL STOP to get change to pay for the parking I was now accused of not paying. I was pissed. I looked over at a cute blonde girl who was also mad that she’d also gotten a fake ticket. So I decided to do something about it.

I thought about it for a second, then opened the trunk of my car. There I found a full can of WD-40, complete with the little straw. I walked over to the collection box, and sprayed a generous squirt into each and every money slot… and there were like, 40 of them! I went back to my car and grabbed a notebook. I wrote a quick note, something like “Dear Parking Guy: Sorry about the collection box, but if you keep ripping off students, I’m going to do this every day until you stop”. For some reason, I had a roll of cellophane tape in my backpack, so I taped that sucker to the box… with, like, 30 strips of tape. That thing wasn’t going anywhere until Parking Guy came around again.

As far as I know, Parking Guy did stop… at least for the rest of my time at GSU. I never again heard a complaint about those bullshit “tickets”. It’s hard to believe one can of WD-40 could stop an illicit money-making scheme, but it appears to have worked.

The Return of Rich’s… and Hydrox?

Charlotte has been lucky in that their regional department store, Belk, still exists. If anything, Belk is as strong now as it’s been in years. Other cities weren’t so lucky. Chicago, for example, had its heart ripped out when it lost Marshall Field’s, and Atlanta lost its favorite department store, Rich’s, too.

For decades, Atlanta had two department stores: Davison’s and Rich’s. Davison’s was founded in 1891, and the thing I remember most is their weird, half-height charge cards:

davisons

The story back in the 80s was that Macy’s bought Davison’s and converted the stores over to the Macy’s brand. The truth was a little more complicated:  the store’s three owners sold out to R.H. Macy & Co. all the way back in 1925. So Atlantans were pretty much shopping at Macy’s the entire time. But in the early 80s, Macy’s decided to consolidate many of their regional brands under the Macy’s name. In 1984, Davison’s iconic logo was changed to mimic that of Macy’s:

ga atl davisons

And, in 1985, Davison’s and all of Macy’s midwest brands were combined into one division, Macy’s Atlanta. In 1986, all Davison’s stores were rebranded to Macy’s.

While all this was going on, Rich’s thrived. The store was an Atlanta institution. Ever heard about the time Nordstrom took back a set of tires from a customer, even though the store has never sold tires? Yeah, Rich’s had tales like that too. There were so many, in fact, that Atlanta Constitution columnist Celestine Sibley was able to write an entire book – Dear Store: An Affectionate Portrait of Rich’s – about it. I remember my dad telling me a story about a child once losing a beloved stuffed animal, and the father called Rich’s in a panic. Problem was, the doll was several years old and had been discontinued. Rich’s staff nevertheless called all over the United States until a new one was found; the stuffed animal was put on a Rich’s truck and delivered to the customer… at no charge. Its’ stuff like this, combined with the Great Tree (a Christmas tree placed atop the downtown store, the lighting of which was a city tradition) and the Pink Pig (a tiny monorail hung from the ceiling of the toy department that thousands of Atlanta kids looked forward to riding every holiday season) that really wove the store into the fabric of the city.

Continue reading “The Return of Rich’s… and Hydrox?”