RANT: Ashlee Simpson Lipsynching

It looks like lil’ ol’ Ashlee Simpson was actually booed (quite vocally) at the end of her halftime performance at the Orange Bowl.

Let me tell you, that was DAMN REFRESHING to see! Now, I’m not being naive here. I know that I’m far past the age of being in MTV’s target demographic. I know that record stores and radio stations no longer care what I think about music. I know that teenagers these days refer to my 80s music as “oldies”. But I’m also not stupid enough to believe (as some frustrated musicians apparently do) that the single yardstick by which musicians should be measured is musical ability. If that were the case, teenage girls all over the world would have posters of Andrés Segovia or Anne-Sophie Mutter on their walls.

No, to be a star you need a combination of talent and style. Of course, this comes in varying degrees. Yngwie Malmsteen can play the guitar like few others can, yet is sorely lacking in the “style department”. Madonna, on the other hand, has made a career with a little bit of musical talent but a lot of style. But people like Britney and the Simpson sisters lack both. In spades. They disgust me. They don’t have musical talent like an Elvis Costello or Prince or Peter Gabriel. They can’t create good “pop music” like Depeche Mode or the Pet Shop Boys. They don’t even have a mediocre musical ability backed by tremendous “star power” like Madonna or David Lee Roth. They’re just puppets controlled by the record company. They eat, sleep and shit whenever the record company tells them. Sure, some of them have a natural talent – Christina and Jessica have good voices to be sure – but they just stand there and sing songs that others have written for them. Or do “by the numbers” covers of some of my “oldies” music. Honestly – was there any need for Jessica to cover Berlin’s “Take My Breath Away” – and sound exactly like the friggin’ original when doing it?? And Britney… well, all I can say about her is “Thank you NASA”. At least fucking Shakira’s last album had the line “all tracks written, performed and produced by Shakira” on it, which is FAR more than you can say about The Simpsons or Britney. What’s even worse about all this is that poor Ashlee is only a pawn of the system of marketing, payola and corruption that she is the product of. Red All Over will probably be stuck playing at small clubs for the rest of their lives, while Big Music will simply continue to roll out its newest craptacular pop star. When people like me don’t buy music, Big Music will rant and rave about “Internet Thieves” instead of making music that anyone wants. It’s a fucked up system, and it needs to die.

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