Hotel Babylon (Series 3, Episode 4)

No, I didn’t forget to do a recap of last week’s Hotel Babylon. I’ve been busy working on some things for clients and helping Lisa’s dad take down his old deck. And, truth be told, I just didn’t care for this episode at all. There are two sure signs that a show is going downhill: when “cute” children are added to the cast and when music numbers are added to pad out the show. Last week’s episode of Babylon had both.

Here’s a summary of the plot:

There’s a new phenomenon called “Princess Scrunchie” that’s taking British schoolgirls by storm. “Princess Scrunchie” is supposed to be bigger than Harry Potter and Hannah Montana put together, you see. And Hotel Babylon has been tasked with holding auditions for a West End musical based on the Scrunchie character. Thus, the hotel is overrun with cute little blonde English girls doing their best JonBenet Ramsey impressions. One girl stands out, though: Tony’s daughter, who has snuck away from school to audition for the show. This is somewhat surprising, as while Tony has mentioned his family on several occasions, we’ve never seen them before.

Gino’s brother Ginelli also shows up. He’s younger and much better looking, and he can charm the knickers off any girl he wants. He also tends bar in a style that would make Tom Cruise’s character in Cocktail hide his head in shame. Early in the episode, Gino asks Ginelli for help, as the hotel is packed with booze-hungry reporters; Ginelli takes over the bar completely, drawing a crowd with his “mad mixing skillz”. Charlie sees this, and appoints him “junior bartender”. Gino sees his little brother taking away the livelihood he’s spent years putting together.

Charlie has also been interviewing trainees for a management position… only we didn’t know this until Jack Harrison, the final candidate, shows up. Charlie gives Jack a test: be the sole point of contact for Mr. Delaney, one of the hotel’s most difficult guests. Mr Delaney is rich and American, and probably in the IT industry. He vaguely reminded me of Larry Ellison (especially when he demands a Japanese tea service in his room, complete with geisha girls and musicians performing “authentic” Japanese music). Will Jack fold under the pressure? Or will he thrive – and eventually take over the show from Max Beesley (Charlie), who has said that this season will be his last on Babylon?

The only bright spot in this episode comes once again from Anna. She’s hurrying to the morning meeting after doing some light shopping when she faints… only to be “saved” by a handsome young man. As luck and lazy writing would have it, “Mr Wright” (get it?) is staying at the hotel. He even comes to Anna’s rescue again later in the episode. But then Mr Wright is called away unexpectedly… is this the end of a short romance? Or wil he come back to be with Anna? The answer:

Most of this episode revolves around Tony and his daughter. At first, Tony is adamantly opposed to his daughter being in the play. Even after she and Tony have the “but I really want to!” talk, he’s still opposed to it. But then he sees how awful most of the competition is, and he truly believes that his daughter is the best singer of the bunch. But there’s trouble afoot: the mother of the most popular girl – Scarlett Adams – is sleeping with the producer. And Scarlett herself gets the rest of the girls drunk to sabotage their auditions. All this sets Tony’s “justice meter” off, and, incredibly, he interrupts the auditions to bring attention to the shenanigans! Sure, like that would happen in the real world! At the end of the day, though, Tony and his daughter are brought closer together, and isn’t father-daughter love more important than being in a West End play? Is it? I’m seriously asking here.

James and Jackie help Gino by coming up with a bunch of cockamamie plans to “persuade” Ginelli to leave of his own accord. The plans don’t work, but Ginelli gets the hint and leaves anyway. And Jack finally blows his stack on Mr Delaney; of course, rather than Mr Delaney complaining to Charlie and Charlie escorting him of the hotel property, Mr Delaney is “impressed” with the boy’s backbone and actually likes him. Couldn’t see that coming from a mile away, could ya?

Hell’s bells… it was bad. So bad that I just can’t write any more about it. So here’s another picture of Anna (Emma Pierson) as a “palate cleanser”:

The episode coming up this week (well, later today), should be much more interesting. Alan Ford (“Brick Top” from Snatch) guests as some shady character, possibly a loan shark, and Hotel Babylon might be the target of robbers!