Month: April 2008

First of all, I apologize for this recap coming so late. The missus and I were doing some home improvement projects last week, and much of my time was taken up with taping, painting, drilling and mounting. Because of the delay, I’m also going to keep this recap short… very short. Because, frankly, I don’t remember that much of this episode of The Riches (without watching it all over again, which is something I won’t do).

The Malloys continued to live their separate lives… Wayne is still working for the huge Bayou Hills payoff, Dahlia continues to live her triple life, Cael is now on his own (sort of) and DiDi just wants everything to be “normal” so she can live her life. Sam, on the other hand, gets closer to his Dad this week. He tells Wayne that he’s seen someone snooping through the Riches’ trash cans… and than he cleaned up a some spilled blood and put the towel into the trash. Wayne, to his credit, instantly stops everything and has a “little adventure” with Sam. He quickly figures out that the stranger is the private detective hired to find the now-deceased Pete. Sam and Wayne observe the PI in his cheap hotel room, and see him examining the blood stained towel. Wayne and Dale then hatch a plan. Wayne cuts himself with a knife and stains a towel similar to the one that Sam used. He then calls the front desk of the hotel, pretending to have an important message for the PI. The PI leaves his room, so Wayne and Sam break into his room and replace the towel. Smooth move, and it was good to see Wayne and Sam together. Plus, it’s always good to get a lot of Aidan Mitchell (Sam). That little kid is one of the few child stars that doesn’t drive me nuts, ‘cos he’s actually got good acting chops.

So yeah… Dahlia’s new “triple” life isn’t working out so well, and DiDi’s new B&E jones is kind of weird. But it’s especially weird for Cael, now that he’s back in the Traveler’s camp… with Eamon. We’ll see how that goes…

Lisa hates Battlestar Galactica. When I tried to watch the season 4 premiere last week, she refused to be in the same room with me. I had to change it to something else. I think she even starts tossing and turning in her sleep if I watch it in bed on my portable video player!

This is, of course, a crying shame. Battlestar Galactica is a science-fiction show, but it’s not your “usual” Sci-Fi dreck. It’s not a simple “Old West” story dressed up in futuristic design (like Star Wars). It’s not a soap opera set in space… and it’s not mindless entertainment (like a lot of Sci-Fi in the past few years). Galactica is a story about people, and how they behave and interact with each other in desperate times.

The story behind Battlestar Galactica is this: a race of human beings somewhere in the universe created a bunch of robotic slaves called Cylons. The Cylons eventually became “self-aware” and rebelled against their human masters. A war of epic proportions broke out, and neither side was able to gain a full victory. So a cease-fire was called, and for 40 years there was an uneasy peace between the humans and Cylons. One day, however, the Cylons launched a massive attack on the human settlements (called the “Twelve Colonies”). Almost all of the humans on these planets died in a nuclear holocaust. A handful of people on the various planets survived, but the bulk of the survivors were people in transit on spaceships. One of the surviving ships was the Battlestar Galactica, a giant spaceship (a cross between an aircraft carrier and battleship) left over from the human\Cylon war. The remaining ships gather around Galactica and this “rag-tag fleet” begins searching for the mythical “Thirteenth Colony”… Earth.

So… that’s it in a nutshell. But there’s so much more than that. The Cylons, you see, originally looked like robots, so much so that humans gave them the disparaging nickname “toasters”. But the Cylons have spent the past 40 years working on making Cylons that look and act just like humans. These “new” Cylons are so nearly identical to humans that “real” humans cannot tell the difference. They bleed just like humans. They have real “human” skin. They look just like a “real” human under an x-ray or CAT scan. In fact, there are only two ways to tell when a “human” is really a Cylon: the first is when\if they suddenly act crazy and try to blow up a ship. The second is when people discover “copies” of the Cylons (there are only 12 “models” of “human Cylon”, so when an exact duplicate of someone that doesn’t have a twin brother\sister shows up, you know that they’re Cylons).

As you might guess, the humans freak out when they discover that the Cylons have figured out how to make “people”. Witchhunts aplenty begin popping up all over the fleet. An “Us vs. Them” mentality rears its ugly head, and much of the first season of Battlestar Galactica will be uncomfortably familiar to most Americans in this post-09/11 world. In fact, you could substitute the word “terrorists” or “Islamic militants” every time someone on BSG says “Cylons” and you would have the same conversation that’s taking place all over America today. At some point, many “human Cylons” (and those suspected of being “human Cylons”) are tortured in scenes eerily similar to Abu Ghraib or Guantanamo Bay. Just as in todays’ America, many of the humans in Battlestar Galactica oppose profiling and torture, and there’s an ongoing battle between the military and civilian leadership for control of the fleet. Sound familiar?

And I haven’t even mentioned theology yet. The humans, you see, are polytheists. Like ancient Greeks and Romans, the humans worship a panoply of gods and goddesses. The Cylons, on the other hand, are monotheists, who believe that they were created by the humans acting through the One True God. To the Cylons, humans are imprefect, while they themselves are perfect creatures created in God’s own image. Again, does this sound familiar? Interestingly, it seems that the One True God of the Cylons also gave them a certain measure of free will. At the beginning of the series, Cylons are somewhat similar to Terminators – simple robots hell-bent on carrying out their missions. As Cylons interact with people, some of them begin to change. One of the Cylons, Sharon ‘Boomer’ Valerii, foe example, falls in love and starts siding with the humans. Towards the end of season 3, a chasm develops between the Cylons, where some of them continue to work towards the complete annihilation of humanity in general, while other Cylons that want to “work with” the humans to find a middle ground that everyone can be happy with.

I’ve left gigantic holes in my summary of Battlestar Galactica. I haven’t even mentioned Gaius Baltar, the show’s resident “is he evil or not?” character. Suffice it to say, if you haven’t watched Battlestar Galactica, you’re really missing out.

Current human population: 39,676

Wow! I tried to think of a polite way to say it, but I just can’t. The shit really hit the fan this week on The Riches… and I’m not sure how the Malloys will be able to hold it together this time.

Last week’s episode ended with Dahlia confessing her parole violations to a sympathetic parole officer she learned about at Nina’s AA meeting\drug buy. Dahlia walks into the parole officer’s office, thinking that he’ll accept her story at face value… only she couldn’t be more wrong. He cuffs her and yells at her. In a surprising burst of naivety, Dahlia actually seems… shocked that the officer doesn’t believe her story (when we, the home viewers, can easily see how it could be the same line of crap that the parole officer has heard a million times). The officer then cuts her some slack, giving her 24 hours to get a place to live and a job. In yet another incredible display of naivety, Dahlia seems shocked that no one wants to hire her – not even coffee shops and dive bars. Maybe Dahlia’s never actually looked for a real job before… I dunno. But she ends up getting a job at a seafood restaurant and renting an “apartment” in what appears to be a boarding house.

Dahlia repeatedly tried to ask Wayne for help, but this guy… whew… Wayne has his own problems! The Bayou Hills development in now in motion, and some of the investors are coming in for a meeting about it. The only problem is that one of the investor’s attorneys – Barry Stone, played by Curtis Armstrong (Booger!) – went to law school with Doug Rich. The attorney is visibly confused when he sees “Doug Rich”, but doesn’t say anything… especially after Sam (looking through Doug’s papers at home) finds some dirt on Barry, which keeps him quiet. Barry quietly manages to get word to his boss – Felix Minkov – that “Doug” is a con-man. After the meeting, Felix violently confronts Wayne, and tells him that he knows that Wayne is not Doug, is not a lawyer, and that they (Felix and Wayne) will set Hugh up and take all the money for themselves:

Lest you think that’s the only thing going on with Wayne, he was also busted during the meeting by his long-suffering assistant, Aubrey. She sat quietly during the meeting, sending Wayne instant messages about legal terms he didn’t know. When Hugh and Felix announce that they’re going to screw the poor people out of the deal (Bayou Hills is to be built on what used to be public land; the government is selling it to Panco on the condition that they set aside some of the housing for poor Hurricane Katrina victims), Aubrey becomes furious with everyone, but especially Wayne. She threatens to bust him, but Wayne somehow manages to convince her not to. He says that he agreed to the plan to “evict” the poor people just to get Bayou Hills built in the first place, and that they (Wayne and Aubrey) will figure out a way to get the homes built for the poor people.

And that’s still not all. Dale’s still around, and towards the end of the episode he’s seen calling someone (we don’t know who) on behalf of Eamon and giving them information about Panco. We also see Eamon and Ginny having a conversation about education at the Traveler’s Camp (about James Joyce, of all people)… Oh, and a guy named Chet Landry is now calling “Doug” at Panco looking for Pete! Frankly, I’m surprised that Wayne’s head didn’t explode at the end of this episode. As I said, shit is hitting the fan left and right for the Malloy family, and I just don’t see how they’re going to wiggle their way out of it – especially with only three episodes left in this (strike-shortened) season.

And lastly… Cael and Didi. As we all know, Cael hates life at Eden Falls, but Didi likes it. Most of the time anyway. Didi comes home from school in the middle of all this, and finds Cael (who didn’t go to school at all). The two have a series of heartfelt conversations. Cael suggests that they go to the mall and pull off some scams to get money; Didi refuses, not wanting to be a con artist anymore. He eventually talks her in to “pulling a Molly Branigan” (which is “traveler talk” for acting like street performers). At the mall, Didi sees some of her classmates, and is genuinely embarrassed to be seen busking with Cael. Didi breaks down and admits that she just “can’t do this anymore”. She wants things to be like they were, but she’s changed. She likes life at Eden Falls. The two have a teary “goodbye”, and Didi goes home to work on an English paper.

One last thing: Dahlia was having a really bad day… and once again, Wayne ignored her troubles to get her to help him with his troubles. This echoes the first season… and I hope Dahlia doesn’t fall off the wagon again!