God Bless Texas!

I’ll make no apologies for it: I love to eat, and I love to eat junk food. Now, I don’t eat Twinkies every day of my life, and although my dinners are typically heavy on the animal protein, I usually at least try to throw a couple of vegetables in the mix. But when it comes time to eat crap – like, I dunno… at a state fair or something – I can throw down like there’s no tomorrow.

The 2008 Texas State Fair is over now, but thanks to a foodie website I was able to pull up the fair’s menu. And my God… it almost makes me quiver just reading it! Here are some of the highlights:

Chicken Fried Bacon – Thick and peppery Farm Pac® bacon is seasoned, double-dipped in a special batter and breading and deep-fried. Served with a creamy side of ranch or honey mustard sauce.   Served at  N30 located on Nimitz at MLK. Winner of Best Taste in the Big Tex Choice Awards competition.

Fried Banana Split – A mixture of banana and honey peanut butter is rolled in balls, battered and deep-fried and topped with assorted, delicious fixings, including powdered sugar, caramel and chocolate syrups, chopped peanuts, whipped cream and banana split flavored ice cream bites then fittingly crowned with the traditional cherry.  Served at the Auto Grill inside the Automobile Building. Winner of Most Creative in the Big Tex Choice Awards competition.

Texas Fried Jelly Belly Beans – Jelly Belly Beans are rolled in funnel cake batter and fried to a crunch.  People can share the treat with friends and try to guess the flavors before biting down.  Enjoy at the Granny’s Funnel Cake stand C6 at the south side of the Coliseum and at Rico’s Burgers, stand C7, behind Gateway Pavilion. Finalist in the Big Tex Choice Awards competition.

Deep Fried S’mores – Marshmallow cream and chocolate chips are sandwiched between two graham crackers, dipped in a feather-light batter and fried to a golden brown.  The campfire-inspired treats are dusted in powdered sugar.  Included in the menu at stand N9 located near the Embarcadero entrance. Finalist in the Big Tex Choice Awards competition.

Fire & Ice – A pineapple ring is battered and deep-fried, then topped with banana-flavored whipped cream that’s been frozen in liquid nitrogen. The smoking concoction is ladled with strawberries and syrup.  Fire & Ice is served by Abel Gonzales at the family-run stand on Nimitz Drive. Finalist in the Big Tex Choice Awards competition.

Fried Pop Rocks Fundae Blast – Ignite your senses with this explosion of Tastes.  Fried Ice Cream covered in Hershey’s Syrup and Pop Rocks.  Your fuse is a Twizzler rolled in Pop Rocks.  While you disarm it, you’ll find an Atomic Fireball inside . . .“Fire in the Bowl”! Stand FW-22 located on Fun Way across from Lost Children Building.

Fried Cake on a Stick – A delicious, chocolate covered white cake filled with strawberry jelly and cream, dipped in sweet batter and deep fried until golden brown and served on a stick! Stand TB-14 located in the Tower Building.

Fried Snowballs – Fresh from the fryer!  A lightly battered Snowball (cupcake) dusted with powdered sugar!  Shirley London and Sons stand M-19 located on The Midway at the intersection of The Midway and Martin L. King Blvd.

Mini Chicken Fried Steak Slider – A miniature crispy chicken fried steak patty served on a mini bun with a side of cream gravy.  A bite size version of “Big Texas Taste”.  Stand N-11 The Dock located inside the Embarcadero Building.

Ignited Moon Pie­ – The Original Moon Pie, lightly battered and deep fried, then gently sprinkled with powdered sugar! Stand N-9 located near the Embarcardero Building entrance.

Crispy Fried Cantaloupe Pie – Diced cantaloupe seasoned with brown sugar, cinnamon and coconut milk, rolled in a flaky pie pastry, and then deep fried.  Topped with powdered sugar and whip cream.  Gigi’s Food stand TB-22 inside the Tower Building.

Wow! I bow to you, oh Texans! Your deep-fried technology puts the rest of us to shame!

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