You know those “little things” that make you mad? I’m not talking about the truly important stuff, like politics or religion or anything like that… No, I mean the little things – like the old lady in front of you at the checkout counter at the grocery store who doesn’t even bother to start writing her check until the cashier comes up with a total… or the guy in front of you in line at McDonald’s that stares at the menu for 9 minutes trying to figure out what he wants… like he’s never been in a McDonald’s before.
Here are a few of the “little things” that have been bugging me lately:
“Reuben” sandwiches: Last week I was searching the ‘Net for a local restaurant’s menu. I accidentally stumbled across the menu for a similarly-named restaurant also in the Charlotte area. This place claimed to sell the “the world’s best Reuben sandwich”… only their version came with corned beef, Swiss cheese, sauerkraut… and Thousand Island dressing! I hate to nitpick, but a Reuben sandwich is corned beef, Swiss cheese, sauerkraut and Russian dressing. Although Russian and Thousand Island both start as a mixture of mayo and ketchup, Thousand Island has sweet pickle relish added, while Russian has horseradish. They don’t taste the same at all. Any jackass selling a “Reuben sandwich” with Thousand Island dressing should be taken out and beaten with a garden hose until they promise to never, ever, ever do it again.
Spelling (Part 1): I’m hardly a spelling bee champion, and even I have problems with the whole “ensure vs. insure” thing. But come on, people! Firefox comes with a built-in spell-checker, and several are available for Internet Explorer. There’s no reason whatsoever for you folks to post about your busy “calenders”, your love of “independant” films, your “collectable” plates, your unused sporting “equiptment”, the Windows NT “kernal”, or even your own “ignorence”. My favorite, however, is “Tobasco sauce”. WTF?!?
Spelling (Part 2): While I’m on the subject, what’s up with people using the words “bumber” or “draw”, as in “my favorite ride at the amusement park is the bumber cars” and “if it’s not on my desk, look in the draw underneath”. I’ve seen people use “bumber” (meaning “bumper”) and draw (meaning “drawer”) repeatedly throughout multi-paragraph web posts, so it’s not a one-time typo. Is there some part of the US where “bumber” and “draw” are considered acceptable?
Step and Half: This one’s easy, yet it seems to continually stump some people. If one of your parents dies, and your surviving parent remarries, any children the surviving parent and new spouse might have would be your half siblings, while any children the new spouse might bring to the marriage are your step siblings. Thus, if your father dies and your mother remarries, any children they might have together would be your half brothers or half sisters. If her new husband already had a child (let’s say his wife died in an accident), that would be your step brother or step sister. Really, it’s not that difficult, folks. Perhaps this will help: your half brother would have half of your genes (since they have the same mother or father). If they don’t have your genes, then they’re your step brother or sister.