The reason the Mad Men recaps were so delayed is that the missus and I went on vacation last week (and then we spent Friday doing a “deep cleaning” for some guests we were having on Saturday night, then had the guests over Saturday, then helped some friends move on Sunday, then had a cook out on Monday). So I’ve been busy. But I thought I’d share some cheesy cellphone pics from the trip with you.
We went to Myrtle Beach. It’s a fun place, but in many ways it’s sort of a “land that time forgot”. 1950s hotels and “motor lodges” are everywhere, as are Confederate flags. There are restaurants named “Mammy’s Kitchen” and “Tar Baby’s”… and this one:
Shucker’s? Really? Does the NAACP know about this?
On a previous trip, I visited a gift shop called the Gay Dolphin (read my “critique” of the store here). I mentioned a few things in the review that I didn’t have pictures of… like this:
There are two things of note here: the incredibly out of date “Atlanta Braves Nacho Gift Set” (the picture just doesn’t capture the awful browness of the nacho cheese, which shold be a cheery orange) and the circa 1989 Atlanta Falcons sticker\temporary tattoo (I could have sworn it was a window cling sticker, but looking at the picture just now it looks like it should be a rub-on tattoo, no?)
In my review I also commented on the Gay Dolphin’s selection of sketchy food products. Here’s a picture of a new item I found:
Yep, because when I think “high quality tea”, the first thing that pops into my mind is rough and nasty Cowboy lovin’! When I sit down with a nice cup of Earl Grey, the first thing I want to think about is “that scene” from Brokeback Mountain!
I also mentioned that the Gay Dolphin inexplicably carries souvenirs from all over the county. If you want a Rhode Island collector’s plate or a collectible spoon from Independence Dam State Park in Defiance, Ohio look no further. I found this nifty trinket among the Gay Dolphin’s treasures:
It’s a foot-shaped key ring… with a toe ring inside… with “ATLANTA” stamped on it! Why does such a thing exist? And why does the Gay Dolphin sell them? Ahhh, the mysteries of life!
We also went to Broadway at the Beach during the previous trip. It’s a large shopping and entertainment complex, not unlike Underground Atlanta or Chicago’s Navy Pier. Lisa wanted to go back there to check a couple of places out. Since she had learned about a 2-for-1 take-out deep dish pizza special at Uno Grill, we decided to park near the restaurant, in a section of the complex we hadn’t visited before. We stopped at Uno and got a take-out menu, then checked out the stores in the area… one of which was an 80s nostalgia store! Of course, I just had to go in! I almost bought a Sex Pistols watch, but wasn’t at all tempted to buy this:
Ya know, I actually was a pretty big fan of The Fixx back in the day… but even back then I wouldn’t have wanted a Fixx hat. I surely wouldn’t want one today (especially at $26.95). I wonder how many they’ve sold?
A day or two later we headed out to the Tanger Outlets to check out some kitchen stuff. I needed to use the bathroom, and inside I was surprised (and nervous) at seeing this:
Are there that many diabetics around that malls need to put needle receptacles in public bathrooms now? Is America really that sick? I thought most of our exploding diabetes problem was type 2, which usually doesn’t require insulin injections… or maybe (just maybe) there’s a giant problem with busloads of heroin-injecting grandmas going to outlet malls. Dammit – where’s John Stossel when you need him?
Myrtle Beach also has “Channel 33”, a non-stop tourist information channel on the TV. If you’ve ever stayed in a large hotel, you’ve probably seen a station like this before… only instead of being close-circuted to the hotel, Channel 33 is actually broadcast all over the city. Anyway, on the previous trip, Scott took notice of one of the blondes on the channel and said that he was “going to drink until she’s attractive”. Well, this is for you, man:
Lastly, here’s a picture of Horst, who owns Horst Gasthaus, a German restaurant in Myrtle Beach:
I dunno. I just think Germans are funny, especially older ones. I think they all still secretly want to conquer the world, and throughout this commercial, I imagine that Horst is trying really hard to not jump up and start singing “Deutschland, Deutschland über alles” or say something like “vee vill crush you American bastards… zenn, the New German reich vill take over zis Jew prison you call a country!” Or something like that.