Hey, ya’ll! Simon here! I went 9-4 last week, for a total of 25-14 on the season. Who knew the Rams would beat the Saints? I’m glad to have missed one of those games though: I picked New England over Pittsburgh, and when the boys from Steel City won my daddy jumped up and down and hollered like a mad man! It made me happy to see him happy! Let’s see what we have this week!
New York Jets at Buffalo: You know it’s a strange world when Buffalo is sharing the lead in the AFC East with New England! I tell you what though, I wouldn’t mind playing a few rounds of “Simon Says” with that handsome Ryan Fitzpatrick! Talk about ball control! OH SNAP! Now, ya’ll know I love my sexy Latin mens, but Duuurty Sanchez just won’t be take to beat Buffalo at home this year! Take the Bills in this game, honey!
Seattle at Dallas: That poor Tony Romo. The little boy tries so hard to be a great quarterback, yet he throws picks at exactly the wrong time… or muffs the snap or handoff. That’s OK, though. After the spankin’ the Philly Birds gave them last week, the ‘Boys will be out for blood… and the Sea Chickens will be able to provide it for them! Look for Romo to throw his balls wherever, and the sexy duo of Miles Austin and Jason Witten will “rise to the occasion”, if you know what I mean. The Cowboys will win this one easily!
Atlanta at Indianapolis: Speakin’ of sexy Latin mens, you know who’s gonna run all over the hapless Colts this week? That Dominican Adonis, Tony Gonzalez, that’s who! That lil’ tight end is gonna be all over the field, as well my lil’ cup o’ hot chocolate Michael Turner. Watch the Falcons run up the score… and the Dolts remain winless after this game.
Miami at Kansas City: Well, as ya’ll know, Miami is my favorite team, thanks to those sexy costumes! But they’re just not that good this year. To be fair, no one thought much of the Chiefs, either… at least I didn’t until Monday night, when my lil’ lover Matt Cassel hung in there and stole a win away from those awful Chargers! In a normal year, I’d pick the Dolphins. But this year I’m going with the Chiefs!