Here’s a list of random things people said on the Internet last week. Explanations available after the jump. Note that all grammar – spelling, punctuation, etc. – are copied verbatim from the original.
Let me know if you like this, and I’ll see about making it a regular feature!
– “The family I’m living with here in Thailand – nobody eats beef. I asked why, and they say ‘it tastes like cow’. I have no idea what that means.”
– “Well that was a really long-winded way of saying ‘look, everyone, someone who doesn’t understand marginal cost’.”
– “It’s like there are two universes here. Ours where we don’t ruin rib-eyes, and the other where Spock has a beard.”
– “So this is the car JFK was assassinated in? Let me call a buddy of mine who’s an expert on cars JFK was assassinated in.”
– “I can’t stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier”
– “Michio Kaku, the Al Sharpton of physics.”
– “imagine the sandwich you would get afterwards…”
– “I hate Bono but i assume the rest of Ireland is great.”
– “Really, dude? You liked chocolate as a kid? That’s amazing. And you still like it now? Gosh, you must really like chocolate. It’s so rare these days to hear of someone loving chocolate as a kid AND still liking it well into their adulthood. It’s a good thing you found this flowing chocolate slurry at Golden Corral so you can partake in this lifelong passion of yours unencumbered and free.”
– “At 20, he attempted suicide-by-jaguar. Afterward he was apprenticed to a pirate. To please his mother, who did not take kindly to his being a pirate, he briefly managed a mink farm, one of the few truly dull entries on his otherwise crackling résumé, which lately included a career as a professional gambler.”