SimonHey, y’all! Simon here! Wow… it’s hard to believe that they’re only three games left in this NFL season. Only three more games of sweaty, handsome mens with their skull-crackin’ thighs… Oh my! I went 3-1 last week, and am 176-87 for the season! Top THAT, y’all! Enjoy the picks for CHAMPIONSHIP WEEKEND! 


Baltimore at New England: Well, Simon was a little off in his prediction last week. Who knew that John Fix would take a knee with 30+ second and three time outs left, when the Falcons would win their game with even less time and two timeouts? Oh Foxy… you’re so not sometimes. Still I think this week will see the end of ol’ Ray-ray’s career. I still think the Ratbirds are overrated, and the biggest reason they won last week was Fox’s stupidity and Manning’s interception. Meanwhile, the Evil Empire has been firing on all cylinders. Rob Gronkowski out? No worries… Tom Terrific will get the job done, and look fabulous while doing it! And Unibrow McGee Joe Flacco? We’ll find out if he’s truly “elite” this week. I have a feeling that Wilfork and Company are gonna rock his world… and not in a good way. I don’t expect this to be the blowout the Pats\Texans game was, but I don’t think there will be much doubt as to who the better team is. Take the Patriots to win, honey: 42-24.

San Francisco at Atlanta: Well, this isn’t good. As you know, my daddy is from the ATL, and he nominally pulls for the Durty Birds, especially in situations like this. But I just don’t think Matty Ice and Company have it in them to pull it off. Sure, Colin Kaepernick has the stupidest facial hair of anyone in the league… but he’s also got them sexy legs which he uses to chew up the yardage for big gains. My little kitty heart really wants the Falcons to win (and especially that handsome hunk of Latino beefcake, Tony Gonzalez). But my intuition tells me that the 49ers will take this game. I think it’ll be close, though. I see the the West Coasters jumping out to an early lead, and Atlanta will close, but the final score will be 31-28, San Francisco. I hope Atlanta rises up, though.


Enjoy the picks, y’all! See you in a couple of weeks for my SUPER BOWL picks!


– The Simon

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