Hey, y’all! Simon here! Wow… Simon really dropped the ball last week, huh? 5-8? My first losing week in God knows how long? OMG! But WHO KNEW the Pats would come back from a 24-0 deficit to win in overtime? Let’s see if I can do better in Week 13! I’m still 108-67 for the season, which isn’t too bad. Not great, but not bad. Have a happy Turkey Day and enjoy the picks, folks!
Green Bay at Detroit: Y’all know I think Calvin Johnson and Matthew Stafford is the best combo since peanut butter and jelly, right? And Simon would love to be in the middle of a Johnson-Stafford sandwich… but I think the Packers, even with their QB situation, will pull this one out. Barely. And I don’t like pulling out, either!
Oakland at Dallas: Yeah, I think the ‘Boys win this one. It’s Turkey Day, they’re at home, and millions of fans will be watching. Romo, Bryant, Witten, Murray, Ware… I think the Cowboys just have too much talent for the Raiders, especially with the Iggles on their tails!
Pittsburgh at Baltimore: Well, it’s always hard to win in Bawlmer.., but Simon’s gonna go full-blown homer and pick the Steelers in this one. The Steelers really seem to be coming together over the past few weeks, while the Ratbirds just seem to be treading water. Seriously… where has this Steeler defense been all season? Of course, given that the margin of victory in these games is usually 3 points or less, it’ll be close. Don’t be surprised if the Ratbirds win 21-20. But I think the Men of Steel keep their winning streak alive this week!
Jacksonville at Cleveland: Talk about Factory of Sadness! Simon feels well and truly sorry for anyone forced to watch this stinker! Take the Browns, but hold your nose when you do it!
Tennessee at Indianapolis: Yawn. Take the Colts, if you care.
Chicago at Minnesota: In the Battle of the Awful Accents, I say take da Bears to win. They’ve got too much game for the Vikings.
Miami at New York Jets: It’s hard to tell which team is worse here. I’ll take the Jets, if only because it’s gonna be snowy, rainy and\or ice cold this week, and I don’t think those Miami mens will be ready for that.
Arizona at Philadelphia: Oh God… we’re probably gonna be stuck with this as our late game, aren’t we? NAP TIME FOR SIMON! Take the… Eagles, I guess. ‘Cos although the Cards have won four in a row, it’s been against such awesome teams as Atlanta, Houston, Jacksonville and Indianapolis.
Tampa Bay at Carolina: So… Tampa Bay is showing some signs of life, winning 3 in a row. Well THAT’S going to come to an end, when my MAIN MENS Cam and Steve show up. The Panthers defense will shut down the Butt Bucs, and Cam will do whatever he needs to do to win.. get like the sexy man he is! Take the Panthers… all the way to the Super Bowl, baby!
New England at Houston: This game could officially be classified as “child abuse”. The Pats will stomp all over the hapless (and rudderless) Texans.
Atlanta at Buffalo: Mark my words: the Durty Burds season will well and truly end this week, when the Bills roll over the Falcons. The Burds have already been eliminated from the playoffs, so they have nothing to play for, and dome teams usually don’t play well in the snow, even when they give a damn about winning!
St. Louis at San Francisco: THE BATTLE OF THE SAINTS! heh. It won’t amount to much, since the 49ers will humiliate the Rams all day long. As I’ve said, the Rams are better than people think… but they’re nowhere near good enough to take down Frank Gore and the 49ers!
Denver at Kansas City: Now this should be a good game! I fully expect Pey Pey and the Broncos to win, but Arrowhead will be rockin’ and the Chiefs will put up a hell of a fight! I’d love to see Kansas City come away with a narrow victory… but I don’t think it’ll happen.
Cincinnati at San Diego: The consensus on this game is that the Chargers will win. I don’t buy it. The Chargers always fade late in the season, it’s all just a matter of when they fade. I think it’ll start this Sunday. Don’t get me wrong… since my Daddy is a Steelers fan, I’d love it if the Bengals lost… but I don’t think it’s gonna happen.
New York Giants at Washington: Normally, this would be a good game, even if both teams are battling for the cellar in the NFC Least. But the ‘Skins are fading fast, even with that handsome RG3. Take the Giants to win this one. The REAL question is the over\under on how many people really CARE about this game, though.
New Orleans at Seattle: Who dat say they gonna beat the Saints? I’ll tell ya who: Russell Wilson and those Sexy Seahawks! The Saints are good, but they’re 6-0 at home and only 3-2 on the road. The Seahawks are almost unbeatable at home, and they’ll be pumped to take on the NFC South leader. Expect the 12th man to be ON FIRE this week! Take the Seahawks to win this one, and pretty easily, too!