Hey, y’all! Simon here! Wellllll… do I have egg on my face or what? The Simon went 0-4 on Wild Card weekend… I haven’t been shut out like that since one time I went to a biker bar!
Let’s see if ol’ Simon can do better this weekend!
New Orleans at Seattle: Simon was sure that New Orleans would stink it up on the road… and – of course – they played like champs! Not sure about this weekend, though. The Saints still aren’t a good road team, and they’re headed into one of the toughest venues in all of football. And they’re gonna have to go against that handsome Russell Wilson, too! Eeeek! The Simon thinks the Seahawks will win, but it’ll be close.
Indianapolis at New England: I keep thinking about how weak this Patriots team looks, but they just keep winning and winning! And no one in football knows how to win big games better than Tom Terrific and
Emperor Palpatine Bill Belichick. The Colts might make it a game, but I think the Patriots win in the end.
San Francisco at Carolina: OMG, girl! Are you excited? I KNOW I am! My HOMETOWN Carolina Kitties are gonna take on the 49ers and that big doofus Colin Kaepernick… and win! At least I hope so. The Cardiac Cats beat them once already this season, and knowing them it’ll come down to the last minute. But I hope, hope, hope my main man Cam is able to pull out a win for the Panthers! Y’all know I’ll be drinking a cup of steamin’ hot chocolate in his honor this Sunday!
San Diego at Denver: Y’all wanna know something amazing? These two teams have played each other over a hundred times… but have never faced each other in the playoffs! That’s wild! We all know the Broncos can be vulnerable, but I think
Mr Forehead Pey Pey will lead the team to victory this week, setting up another Manning-Brady rematch for the ages! So take the Broncos to win this one, baby!
Fingers crossed I do better this week! Love y’all!
– The Simon