Author: Jim Cofer

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RANT: Ashlee Simpson Lipsynching

It looks like lil’ ol’ Ashlee Simpson was actually booed (quite vocally) at the end of her halftime performance at the Orange Bowl.

Let me tell you, that was DAMN REFRESHING to see! Now, I’m not being naive here. I know that I’m far past the age of being in MTV’s target demographic. I know that record stores and radio stations no longer care what I think about music. I know that teenagers these days refer to my 80s music as “oldies”. But I’m also not stupid enough to believe (as some frustrated musicians apparently do) that the single yardstick by which musicians should be measured is musical ability. If that were the case, teenage girls all over the world would have posters of Andrés Segovia or Anne-Sophie Mutter on their walls.

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RANT: Charlotte Bars Padding People’s Tabs

When it comes to this week’s rant I’m really pissed off. It seems that there is a rash of Charlotte nightclubs and bars padding people’s tabs. In fact, it’s gotten so bad that the missus and I don’t even start tabs and buy drinks “by the each” with cash if possible. Now, it might be one thing if Charlotte was a large as say, Atlanta or Chicago, but the simple fact is that there aren’t that many bars in this city. So “our people” are a sort of captive audience as it were, hustling back and forth between four or five places depending on how bad the padding is getting at one particular place. But it’s simply outrageous.

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RANT: Stupid Diets

This week’s rant is in honor of my missus. Ya see, Lisa is trying out a new diet. Now this diet is not just to lose weight. Lisa is diabetic, so this diet is also about getting her blood work in good enough shape so that her physician will stop harassing her about seeing a nutritionist. So the good people at Blue Cross Blue Shield sent her a book with just that – a diet plan for diabetics that not only want to shed a few pounds, but also want (or need) to get their glycosides or glycerides or whatever into shape. So Lisa got into bed one night and started reading… and immediately started ranting.

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RANT: Duke Power

The worst utility company in the entire world is Duke Power. According to Microsoft’s “Streets and Trips 2005”, the missus and I live a mere 1.6 miles away from the Allen Steam Station here in Belmont, but our damn power goes off all the frickkin’ time. And it would be one thing if it was just a blink here and there, but it goes off for hours when it does this. If anyone from Duke Power is reading this, PLEASE FIX YOUR SYSTEMS! I mean, when’s the last time you picked up a phone and didn’t have dialtone? Was there any weather-related issue that caused our power to go off for several hours yesterday? No. Do you people have ANY idea of what a pain in the ass it is to have to reboot an Exchange server? Do you know how much fun it is to sit in the dark on Labor Day? Do you have any idea of how frustrating it is to buy a freezer FULL of food the day before the power goes out for several hours? Do you?? Do you??? As ol’ Ralph from Ben Hill would say… “Duke Power.. GET OUTTA TOWN!”

By the way, I was really sneaky today and managed to sneak in to the Allen Steam Plant and snap this picture of the generator in action!

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RANT: “Replacement Music” on TV Shows on DVD

This week’s rant may sound silly, but bear with me while I try to justify my anger. You see, the people that produce television shows are required to obtain a license for most of the “pop music” you hear on a TV show’s soundtrack. I’m not talking about the instrumental “classical-type” music you hear in the background; that music was probably created specifically for the show or is part of the studio’s ‘stock library’ that it can use in any production. No, I’m talking about the sort of music you’d hear on the radio. Many shows that appeal to younger audiences like The OC, Veronica Mars and Popular – shows that often have the “this show featured music by…” ad just before the end credits start rolling – use this type of music. The problem – and this rant – comes when the shows get transferred to DVD. Many times it’s simply too expensive for the studio to license the music that appeared on the original show. Other times it’s just too confusing; for example, if a song has three songwriters, each might have his or her own publisher for the song’s rights. So instead of dealing with one company, the studio in this example has to deal with three – not to mention the actual songwriters and\or their estates. Needless to say, it can get quite confusing.

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RANT: TLC’s “Command Decisions” Show

Have you guys seen the show Command Decisions on The Learning Channel? It’s a show with a cool premise: take a historical battle and give the viewer three options per point-in-time about how he or she would do it. The only problem with the show is that it takes the decision the commander made and makes it the right one. Sometimes this makes sense – lots of times the questions relate to technical issues. For example, the question might be “how should George Washington begin the attack?” and the “official” answer would be “because it’s raining, muskets won’t fire reliably. Sneak up on the British from behind and use bayonets”. OK, that makes sense. The last thing I’d want to hear while staring down thousands of British troops would be seven thousand “clicks” from the wet gunpowder in my troops’ muskets. But at other times, the questions and answers are far more ambiguous. Like: “George Washington gets to the end of a road. Both roads lead to the same town, are equally straight, have an equal incline and equal cover. The British are equidistant from both roads and face the same terrain no matter which way they pursue you. Which way do you turn?” Of course, the official answer is “left – because that’s the way George Washington did it!”

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News and Updates for 06/21/2007

First of all, allow me to introduce my newest website: http://www.belmontpc.info. If you’re in the Charlotte area and are having computer problems, give us a call at 704-800-1573 and we’ll get you fixed up!

So – what’s going on in the world? A five acre lake in Chile has simply disappeared! Park rangers at the Bernardo O’Higgins National Park found no problem with the lake in March, but by late May the lake had disappeared entirely, leaving only a few large chunks of ice that used to float on the water. Scientists are puzzled – the obvious cause for something like this would be cracks opening up on the lake floor, which would cause the water to drain into the ground below. However, no cracks have been found yet and no seismographic activity was recorded in the area between the last known spotting of the lake and the draining. Weird!

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Krispy Kreme Sundae!

This recipe is here just to give you the idea of making it. Honestly, there’s not much to it but you may never have thought about making this. Try it sometime, it’s heavenly!

Ingredients:

Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnuts (1 per sundae)
Your favorite ice cream
Magic Shell (or similar topping)
Cookies (optional, for garnish)

Hardware:

1 microwave
1 ice cream scoop
Plates to serve sundaes

Before you begin putting this delicious treat together you need to think about a couple of things. First of all, what flavor of ice cream will you use? While I’m partial to Ben and Jerry’s, you might not want to use a really complex flavor with this sundae. “Cookie Dough” ice cream might taste great by itself, but once you add the sweetness of the doughnut to the mix, it’s just too much. Try plain chocolate or vanilla or both, but not something with lots of flavors and “stuff” (cookie dough bits, brownie bits, nuts, etc.) in it. Also, consider how many sundaes you’re making. If making 2 or more sundaes, you might want to “pre-scoop” the ice cream and put it back in the freezer for a couple of minutes. Speed is of the essence with this dessert and you don’t want the doughnuts to cool off while you scoop the ice cream!

1) Scoop the ice cream and put it back in the freezer for a minute or two.  If you’re only making one sundae, you don’t have to “pre-scoop” the ice cream, but you will need to move quickly.

2) Place a Krispy Kreme on a plate and heat in microwave for 5-8 seconds or until hot.

3) Place scoop of ice cream on top of doughnut.

4) Add cookie or other garnish (if desired) then cover the ice cream with Magic Shell.  The Magic Shell won’t harden to the doughnut, so just aim for the ice cream!

5) Eat!

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Apple Crumble!

This classic British dessert is a perfect “comfort food”. Although a couple of the ingredients might be difficult to locate in some places, trust me – your efforts will be rewarded! I always get this dessert with the prix fixe menu at The Stockpot restaurant in London and have never been disappointed! Although the “crumble” part of this dish seems suspiciously like Grandma’s apple cobbler, it’s the custard that makes this dessert so sublime!

Crumble Ingredients:

2 apples (Bramley apples are preferred but Granny Smith apples will do)
½ cup self-rising flour
2 + 1 tablespoons granulated sugar
3 + 1 tablespoons demerara sugar (substitute brown or Turbinado sugar if necessary)
4 tablespoons butter
1 lemon (optional, but a good idea)

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Easy Hello Dolly Squares!

One of my favorite memories from childhood was coming home from school to find that my mom had whipped up some tasty treats for me and my sister. Sometimes she’d be busy and only have time to whip up some Mrs. GoodCookie cookies or some brownies from a mix. Sometimes we’d get lucky and she’d make some cookies or a cake from scratch. But if we were really lucky, she’d make Hello Dolly Squares.

She got the recipe from a Betty Crocker “Cookbook for Girls” she had as a little kid. It was one of her favorite cookbooks, and Hello Dolly Squares were her favorite recipe from the book. Years passed, and I found the cookbook one day at my grandmother’s house. I liked to cook when I was a kid, so I eagerly took the cookbook home and made all kinds of tasty treats… but none left the impression on me that the Hello Dolly Squares did. It’s a recipe that automatically makes me think of Mom and home!

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