Drinking whiskey clear!
Stuff to make you laugh…
OK, this commercial for the Surf and Turf Lodge in Bessemer City, North Carolina isn’t all that great. But it has one of the best opening lines ever:
“At Surf and Turf Lodge, we believe there’s a place for all God’s creatures… right between the hush puppies and the fries!”
On July 4, 1985, my family was in Florida to celebrate Independence Day. We went out to eat that night, and afterwards went to see the fireworks the small Florida town was putting on. I don’t want to say that we were “Big City snobs”, but compared to the fireworks at Lenox Square Mall or Stone Mountain, this little show just didn’t cut it. I remember making everyone laugh as we got into the car afterwards by joking that the fireworks display “must have cost upwards of $25!”.
So we went back to the place we were staying and decided to watch the Braves game. The team always did a massive fireworks display on Independence Day, and TBS always showed it after the game was over. Sure, it would be kind of lame seeing fireworks on TV… but why not? It was 10:30 at night, the beach was dark, the pool was closed and we were all sick and tired of the board games we’d brought.
The only problem was that the game ended up going to 19 innings. Mom, who would end up being the biggest baseball fan in the family, gave up around midnight and went to bed. Dad, sis and I were determined to see the fireworks. Yeah, it was stupid. But it was one of those little things where you’re like “dammit, we’ve waited for five hours to see these stupid fireworks, and we’re gonna see ’em!”.
The really funny thing is all the bizarre stuff that happened in the game. At first, we were pulling for the Braves, our hometown team. But then we started cheering for whoever could end the game first. So when the Braves fell behind in the 18th, we started cheering for the Mets. But then the damnedest thing happened: relief pitcher Rick Camp hit a solo home run to tie the game in the bottom of the 18th. A relief pitcher. Whose lifetime batting average was .074. In fact, it was the only home run of Camp’s career, and it happened at around 3:18 am on July 5.
We were afraid that the sun might come up before the game ended, but the game ended after 19 innings. The Braves lost. Hell, they were running out of skill players by the point, and it looked as though they might start grabbing people out of the stands to pitch! But we got to see the fireworks.
And no, it wasn’t really worth the wait.
Lest you think I’m joking, here’s the box score for the game.
I know this has been on the ‘Net for months, and really, it’s only repeating the same six frames over and over and over again. But this just totally cracks me up! I mean, I’ve watched it like… six times since last night, and still giggle when I see it. Who knew that Ned Flanders was a Daft Punk fan?
I was going through the comments marked as spam on the site and found this gem. It was allegedly posted by one “Kareen Leinonen”:
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English for the win, eh folks?
So a few nights ago I was surfing the ‘Net, looking at open-source help desk software. I was thinking that I might add a help desk app to my business website, so that my clients could simply log on and report their problems via a web interface.
One of the apps I was interested in is called “PHP Support Tickets”. But when I went to their website, I was greeted with this:
I guess I can scratch them off the list.
From the March 2011 issue of Shape magazine:
Read the caption: “Confidence is sexy! I’m comfortable with my body and not afraid to show it off”
Really? Sofia Vergara isn’t afraid to “show off her body”? Wow… don’t go out on a limb there, girlfriend! I can’t imagine why Sofia Freakin’ Vergara wouldn’t be afraid to show off her body… can you? What’s next? Blake Griffin “not afraid” to show off his dunking skills? Martin Scorcese “not afraid” to show off his directing skills? Stephen Hawking “not afraid” to show off his mad math skillz? Really, Shape? It all seems more condescending than inspiring to me.
It’s funny ‘cos it’s true:
Hat tip to Failbook.
Every culture has things that other cultures think are strange. Many Muslims, for instance, think it’s strange that Americans allow filthy creatures like dogs into their homes. And many Puerto Ricans think it’s odd that some Americans keep pigs (i.e. food) as pets.
But there’s just something special about the Japanese. I’m not one of those American guys obsessed with Japanese culture, but there is something especially kooky about the Japanese, and it’s far more endearing than the weirdness of German or Turkish culture.
Exhibit A? Kikkoman!
I hate to admit that I spend some time at 4chan, but I do. I found this pic a few weeks ago in \b\, and have no idea what it’s about:
What the hell is that? I mean, it looks like someone lying on their side, butt facing the camera… with a tail coming off their spine. But then there are the “feet”, which actually look like hands. And then there’s that creepy tuft of hair, too. This pic, perhaps photoshopped, still gives me the willies!