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Twitter Weekly Updates for 2009-11-22

  • TFLN: there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen #
  • TFLN: "you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to 'man up' when it cried" #
  • Hangover + Dead Kennedys on Sunday. Thanks, iPod Shuffle! #
  • The 5 worst words ever uttered in English: "The Star Wars Holiday Special"! #
  • Who is "Ed Balls" and why does he make British headlines so funny? #
  • "I'm ready." Uh-huh! šŸ˜‰ #
  • "Sending out an Esso Blue…" #
  • Banana Bread Beer! http://ping.fm/Cf1Yi #
  • "Just to remind you folks… we're closing at midnight tonight." #
  • I survived IKEA! šŸ˜‰ #
  • "So, my story: I'm in the strip club with Charles Barkley and one of the hobbits…" #

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“…almost medieval barbarity”

This is just chilling:

A thug high on drink and drugs gouged out his former lover’s eye during a murder bid and threw it from an eighth-floor balcony.

Francis Murphy was today jailed for 12 years by a judge who told him he had committed a crime of “almost medieval barbarity”.

An earlier trial heard how jealous Murphy attacked Natalie Farrell, 27, with the wire of a coat hanger as he threatened: “I am taking your eye out you f****** cow”.

After flinging her eye from the eighth floor of a Dundee high-rise, evil Murphy then tried to throw her over the balcony as well.

via Mail Online.

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The Nine Days’ Queen

A few days ago, I stumbled across Suicide Blonde. It’sĀ a blog that mostly features photographs, generally of pretty women, but also arty and\or kitschy pictures, too. I subscribed to their RSS feed, and got this in my inbox yesterday:

execution_lady_jane_grey

It’s a painting called The Execution of Lady Jane Grey by Paul Delaroche, and it made me think of the gigantic mess that Henry VIII left in his wake.

Henry VIII came to the throne with plans. Plans to reinvent the Royal Navy. Plans to take power away from the nobles and give it to the King and Parliament. Plans to introduce progressive and efficient taxation. Plans to unify England and Wales. Plans to be a patron of the arts and architecture. It’s somewhat ironic that Henry’s main plan, the thing he thought about almost constantly – securing the future of the Tudor dynasty – nearly failed so horribly.

Henry died on January 28, 1547, leaving firm plans that his son Edward, from his third marriage to Jane Seymour, should be king. There was just one problem: Edward was only nine years old when his father died, so a Regency Council was created to rule in his stead until he reached adulthood. Thus, Edward was crowned King Edward VI of England on February 20 1547, and his Regency Council was led by by his uncle, Edward Seymour.

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Ft. Worth “Wins”

One of the neat things about being an Anglican in the United States is that you get a free legal education with your faith!

Take the case of the Diocese of Ft. Worth, Texas. It was created in 1983 after it was decided that the Diocese of Dallas had become too large. Because the Diocese of Ft. Worth is a legal instrument, papers of incorporation were drawn up and signed, a bishop appointed and a board of trustees selected to run “the Diocese of Ft. Worth, a legal corporation”.

However, the conservative diocese, led by Bishop Jack Iker, voted on November 15, 2008 to leave The Episcopal Church and come under the jurisdiction of the province of Anglican Church of the Southern Cone (which covers Argentina, Bolivia, Chile, Paraguay, Peru and Uruguay).

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Is that you, Sweeney Todd?

From our Russian friends:

MOSCOW (Reuters) ā€“ Russian police have arrested three homeless people suspected of eating a 25-year-old man they had butchered and selling other bits of the corpse to a local kebab house.

Suspicions were raised when dismembered parts of a human body were found near a bus stop in the outskirts of the Russian city of Perm, 1,150 km (720 miles) east of Moscow.

Three homeless men with previous criminal records have been arrested on suspicion of setting upon a foe with knives and a hammer before chopping up his corpse to eat, local investigators said in a statement on their www.susk.perm.ru Web site.

“After carrying out the crime, the corpse was divided up: part was eaten and part was also sold to a kiosk selling kebabs and pies,” the Prosecutor-General’s main investigative unit for the Perm region said in a statement issued Friday.

It was not immediately clear from the statement if any of the corpse had been sold to customers.

Nice.

At least they didn’t make bears play ice hockey.

Russians are weird.

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Twitter Weekly Updates for 2009-11-15

  • AP Top 25: "7) Georgia Tech" Woot! #
  • After searching for this one Blondie song for 5 years… I found out that it's actually a Kim Wilde song. Ooops! #
  • Woo-hoo!! Bring on the Bungles, baby! #
  • Let's go, Virginia! Time to execute John Allen Muhammad!! #
  • "The prettiest girl in a John Hughes film was Gina Gershon". Discuss. #
  • "Did you f**k my mom? Did you f**k my mom, Santa?" Ahhh – Charlie Kelly, you comedic genius! #
  • @MicrosoftHelps Is there any way someone could look at http://tinyurl.com/ybk49qd This issue is driving me crazy! Thanks! #
  • "The courage of your weenie" – an actual subject line from an email in a client's spam folder. #
  • Actual headline from the UK: "Slaughterman executed mother with bolt gun in front of her daughters after she snubbed him on Facebook " #
  • GO JACKETS! 10-1 and ACC Coastal champs! #

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Quote of the Day

“Technology is a glittering lure, but there’s the rare occasion where the public can be engaged in a level beyond flash… if they have a sentimental bond with the product. My first job, I was in-house at a fur company with this old pro copywriter, a Greek named Teddy. And Teddy told me the most important idea in advertising is ‘new’. It creates an itch. You simply put your product in there as a kind of calamine lotion. He also talked about a deeper bond with the product: nostalgia. It’s delicate, but potent. Teddy told me that in Greek, ‘nostalgia’ literally means ‘the pain from an old wound’. It’s a twinge in your heart far more powerful than memory alone. This device isn’t a spaceship, it’s a time machine. It goes backwards, and forwards… it takes us to a place where we ache to go again. It’s not called ‘The Wheel’, it’s called ‘The Carousel’. It lets us travel the way a child travels – around and around, and back home again, to a place where we know we are loved.”

– Jon Hamm as Don Draper
Mad Men, “The Wheel”