The missus and I were at the Bi-Lo recently, where I happened to spot two packs of barbecue-rub chicken leg quarters for 98¢ each. It was a bargain! Last night, I decided to throw one of them on the grill:
Barbecued Chicken!
I slathered the meat in Smack Yo’ Mama brand’s “Death Wish” barbecue sauce, which absolutely brought the heat!
And I only just yesterday learned how to grill leg quarters: you only light one of your grill’s burners, and set that burner to the generous side of “medium”. Brush a little oil on the grill and grill the chicken around 3 minutes per side over the direct heat. Have a spray bottle handy – chicken is fatty, and it could turn into a fiery, greasy mess! Anyway, after the bird has gotten the three minutes per side, brush the other (unlit) side of the grill with a little oil and move the bird there. Brush on some sauce, then drop the lid and let it cook for around 45 minutes, flipping and basting occasionally.
Ollie is a stray kitten that hangs out on our deck.
Last Wednesday morning, Ollie stumbled up the stairs of the deck. He could barely walk. His neck was really swollen. He was lethargic. He didn’t want to eat or drink. Lisa brought him inside, thinking that he was going to die. Poor Lisa couldn’t bear for him to die alone – and he was in reallybad shape. But Lisa held the little guy all day long, wrapped in a towel, stroking his head and baby-talking to him. Slowly but surely, he seemed to get better. Later that evening, Ollie got up and ate something, and showed other signs of life.
Over the next couple of days, Ollie seemed to get better and better. The swelling in his neck went down, but Lisa found what looked like a puncture wound, as if a fang or really sharp pencil had been stuck into poor Ollie’s neck. We started cleaning the wound with peroxide, and for the next couple of days it started to look better. But by Sunday, things started going downhill. The wound hadn’t even started to heal, and was slowly starting to look (and smell) muchworse. We debated over taking him to an emergency vet on Sunday, then decided to take him to the regular vet on Monday. Well, that fell through as one of the Jeeps was in the shop Monday morning. But in the meantime, Lisa and I had been cleaning Ollie’s wounds more frequently with the peroxide. In fact, it was during one of those cleanings that I noticed it.
I had just finished cleaning the wound when I noticed that part of the wound was moving. A small part of it even stuck itself out of the wound as some bizarre form of greeting. It was then that my heart sank: this kitty had some kind of botfly infestation.
Botflies dig into the skin of mammals and grow from egg to larvae… inside the body of a human or animal. They dig a perfectly round hole out of the body, and, when nearly full-grown, will even stick their heads out of the host’s body to get air and look around. It’s truly disgusting. I can’t stress that enough, people. It’s vile. If you want to lose your breakfast, click here to go to YouTube’s search results for “botfly” (I’m warning you – it’s foul). By the way, the proper term for the types of botflies that infect cows, horses, dogs and cats in the US is warble. So if you ever have to call a vet about one, you know what to ask about now…
Anyway, I read up on botflies and watched some of those hideous videos at YouTube. I thought I could do it. It didn’t seem difficult, really: squeeze it like the giant zit it is, and wait for the fly to stick his head out. Then grab as far down on the larva as you can with tweezers, and pull firmly, but gently. The important thing is to not let the larva break or come out incomplete; this can cause a nasty infection or allergic reaction.
So I stood outside the powder room where we were keeping the kitty. I took a long, deep breath – the kind of deep breath you take just before you walk into a body piercing shop or tattoo parlor – and I walked in and did it:
The hideous maggot!
It was easier than it looked in the videos – I just waited until he came out, then grabbed the thing right out. But God – was it disgusting! It was like something out of Alien right in my own bathroom! By the way, in the photo above, that plastic thing is the cap to an old-school 35mm film canister I filled with alcohol (to save the maggot, ‘cos you know I was gonna take pictures!)
So this is poor Ollie now:
Poor Ollie!
He’s getting better, though. It’s starting to heal, and I’m sure the little guy will be back to 100% in a few days. But man, I’ve just gotta tell you: that was one of the most disgusting things I’ve ever had to do!
Most Americans are familiar with the story of the “Pied Piper of Hamelin”, a fairy tale included in thousands of children’s storybooks. For those of you that have never heard the tale, or, if you’re a bit rusty on the details, the story goes like this:
In 1284, the town of Hamelin, Germany had a massive rat infestation. A stranger appeared in town, offering to get rid of the rats for a fee. The townsfolk agreed, and the man whipped out a pipe (the musical kind) and started playing a tune. The rats all heard the music and started following the piper, who then walked into the Weser River, causing all the rats to drown. For some reason, the townspeople then refused to “pay the piper” as it were, and the man vowed to get his revenge on the people of Hamelin. He came back a few weeks later and, when all the townsfolk were in church, the man piped a tune and lured 130 of the town’s children to a nearby cave, where they were never heard from again.
Like any folktale, there are several versions of the story. In many versions, only two of the town’s children survive – a crippled boy who couldn’t keep up with the others, and a deaf child who never heard the piper’s tune. In other versions of the story, the children are led to the Weser and drowned just like the rats. In still other versions, the piper takes the children to a cave and holds them hostage until the town either a) pays him the fee he was promised; or b) gives him a huge amount of gold as ransom.
But what you probably don’t know about the Pied Piper story is that most historians believe that it’s based on actual events!
Around the year 1300, the citizens of Hamelin installed a stained glass window in their local church depicting a piper leading the town’s children away (the “rat infestation” wasn’t added to the story until the 1560s). At the time, stained glass windows in churches were often dedicated to local tragedies; more “whimsical” use of stained glass (such as in the Shakespeare Memorial in London’s Southwark Cathedral) would come much later. Sadly, although there are several contemporary written accounts of the window, we don’t know what it actually looked like, as it was destroyed in 1660. Additionally, surviving town records indicate that there was, in fact, some such “tragedy” in the town in June of 1284.
Erby Walker, a longtime employee of The Varsity restaurant and an Atlanta icon, passed away on June 23rd, 2008. Walker died at Grady Memorial Hospital from cardiac arrest. He was 70.
Walker was a full-time employee of The Varsity from 1955 to 2003. He then claimed to be “bored” in his retirement, so he went back to work at the restaurant 2-3 days a week. Although Walker didn’t invent the restaurant’s “What’ll ya have?” slogan, he made it his trademark and permanently cemented it into Atlanta’s consciousness.
I almost feel like I “knew” Mr. Walker my entire life. I remember my Dad taking me to The Varsity on Saturdays as a little kid, either before a Georgia Tech game, or when I’d go “work” at my Dad’s store*. I remember Mr. Walker being there. In fact, I even remember being scared of him, because he was so loud and intimidating. And he was always there.
When I got my own car at 16, I’d often get bored after school and take a carload of friends to The Varsity. Or go there on field trips. Or, let’s be honest: skip outta school on a lark to go to the High Museum and to The Varsity for lunch. Or maybe go there on a second or third date: hey, as a cash-strapped teenage boy in 1986 Duluth, GA, a trip to The Varsity was a lot more exotic than going to the movies. By then I realized that Mr. Walker wasn’t “mean”, he was just trying to serve 50,000 meals a day… and that took the skill and guts of a drill sergeant. And Mr. Walker was still there.
Throughout my 20s, I’d still eat at The Varsity on a semi-regular basis. I was downtown quite often, and would sometimes duck in for a quick snack. And Mr. Walker was still there.
By my 30s, I’d really cut back on going to The Varsity. I was living on the north side of town, and rarely went in to the city just to buy records or go to thrift stores. Most of my friends were “too adult” to want to meet up at The Varsity before the few concerts we went to see in those days, so we’d go to Noodle or some place in Decatur instead. In fact, it seems like the only times I went downtown in my 30s were to eat (at fancy restaurants) or to go to nightclubs (after The Varsity had closed for the evening). But I’d still go to The V a few times a year… and when I went, Mr. Walker was usually there.
In 2003 I moved to Charlotte. In a fit of homesickness, I went and bought a Varsity t-shirt from their website, and would often wear it out. I’d usually get at least one or two “hey – The Varsity! That’s cool!” comments. And when I go back to town, I still wanna hit up The Varsity…but now Mr. Walker won’t be there.
Damn, that’s sad. First Horace from Moes and Joes, then Skinny Bobby Harper, and now Mr. Walker. Atlanta’s losing its icons. Read the AJC story here.
Rest in peace, Erby!
* – I say “work” because I was 5-10 years old at the time. My dad had a warehouse. I don’t know how much real “physical labor” I did back then, but it probably wasn’t much. If you think I’m a weakling now, you shoulda seen me at 5 years old!
Sigh… the world really *is* going to hell, isn’t it?
In a brief filed by the MPAA in the Jammie Thomas file-sharing trial, the motion picture industry’s trade group said that “[i]ntellectual-property holders should have the right to collect up to $150,000 per violation without having to actually prove copyright infringement” (emphasis mine). In other words, the MPAA thinks that they should be able to sue me for $150,000, without having a single shred of proof that I’ve done anything illegal. What I want to know is… why aren’t more people up in arms about this? Of course, many people don’t download movies off the Internet, and many people only download a movies once or twice a year and don’t consider themselves “true pirates”. But come on people – this affects you too! Do you have teenagers? It’s entirely possible that they’re downloading movies and you don’t even know it. And it’s entirely possible that MediaSentry (or some other investigative company) could get your IP address by accident… what then? This scheme smacks of extortion on a massive basis… and no one seems to care.
The UK continues its slide towards Oceania with this story from The Telegraph. Apparently the UK’s National Children’s Bureau, a charity which receives almost £12 million a year from the British government, has released a guide which states that employees should be on the lookout for “racist behavior” in children. According to the guide, this includes children as young as three turning their noses up to curry and other exotic dishes. So if you have a three year-old boy in a British day care center, he is apparently a dirty racist if he says “yuk!” to Tikki Masala. Incredibly, the guide even says that babies should be monitored for racist behavior! Why, Britain, why? I swear, for a country that once ruled 25% of the entire world, you guys sure have lacked balls in the past 40 years!
Rejoice, Charlotteans! Our local monopoly airline – US Airways – announced this week that they will stop showing movies on domestic flights. This will lighten up each airplane by 500 pounds and will save an estimated $10 million a year in fuel. The airline says that no one watches movies on flights any more (thanks to portable DVD players and handheld video devices) and that the few that do watch the films usually bring their own headphones these days (which cuts off the $5 per headset fee the airline used to get). Good Lord, people! What’s next? Will US Air put in pay toilets? Will they charge a $15 “seatbelt rental fee”? You know, Lisa and I normally prefer taking “more, smaller” vacations a year to nearby places like Charleston or Isle of Palms. We think it’s nicer to go to the beach 2-3 times a year instead of saving up for one big (expensive) vacation. But news like this isn’t helping. We could go to New York City or Chicago, but to do that, we’d have to fly. And crap like this makes Charleston and Isle of Palms look better and better!
And, in the last bit of “bad business” news… Charter Cable ran a “World’s Greatest Dad” contest on their website, where children submitted stories about why their dad was the best dad in the world. Mike Lewis’ daughter submitted the winning entry, and the family was supposed to win a 65-inch TV. As Charter marketing wizard Jeff Hatcher began to to process the Lewis’ W-9 (the form the Lewis family needs for taxes), he noticed that 65″ TV was “too expensive for his marketing budget”. So he sent the family a 19-inch TV instead. Classy!
I bet you didn’t know this, but Microsoft still sells Windows 3.11! Or at least they will… until November 1, 2008. Although consumers have long since moved on to Windows 9x or XP\Vista, Windows 3.11 was still incredibly popular with the “embedded devices” crowd. “Embedded devices” are computers that perform specific tasks, like ATMs, cash registers and information kiosks. Although most of the embedded devices average consumers use have been running Windows XP or Windows CE for ages, there are millions of embedded devices running Windows 3.11 in businesses all over the country. There is a Charlotte business that I know that uses a Windows 3.11 machine to control a sheet metal cutter, for example.
The show is about Bruce Miller (played by Coupling’s Jack Davenport), a Chicago-based commodities trader. After a big score on the market, Bruce decides to buy a much larger home on the other side of their Chicago suburb.
Much of the show’s conflict comes via their neighbors. Bruce’s wife Susan (Molly Parker) just adores their old neighbors, Roger and Janet Thompson (Josh Hopkins and Miriam Shor), who are more “uptight” and “white bread” than Ward and June Cleaver. However, both Bruce and Susan are intrigued by their new neighbors, airline pilot Tom Decker (Grant Show from Melrose Place) and his wife Trina (Lana Parrilla). You see, Tom and Trina are swingers. They also drink, smoke weed, pop pills and, in general, follow the whole 1970s “whatever’s groovy” school of thought. As you might guess, all kinds of bad (and uncomfortable) thingshappen when Bruce and Susan try to keep Roger and Janet as friends, yet also explore Tom and Trina’s kinky new world. Janet might not be as uptight as you think, Trina might not be the decadent hussy everyone assumes her to be, and Susan might be a hardcore feminist trapped in a housewife’s body!
Swingtown comes on CBS at 10pm on Thursday nights.
The cast of "Swingtown"
So anyway, A couple of weeks ago, by sheer serendipity, I ate a hearty dinner of Swedish meatballs and egg noodles just a couple of hours before Swingtown came on. In fact, I didn’t even think about the coincidence – eating a classic 70s dish and watching a show about the 70s – until about halfway through that evening’s episode, when one of the charaters was making dinner. But then it just clicked:
Thursday is now “70s Food Night” at the jimcofer.com homestead!
Tonight I’m having a 70s classic: steak with blue cheese (Stilton, in this case) melted on top, with blue cheese macaroni and cheese. Next week, I think I’ll have Shake and Bake porkchops. Maybe I’ll even bust out the fondue set for the season finale!
So – what about you? What are your favorite 70s dishes?
Do you have any suggestions for my 70s Food Night?
Did you ever have “food night” for a TV show at your house? Maybe a slice of cheery pie and a cup of coffee before Twin Peaks?
Or maybe have “Dinner and a Movie Night” with cuisine to match the movie?
Or did you just have some tradition with TV and food, like how Lisa and I always used to get Chinese takeout for 24?
Talk to me, people!
FOR THE TRIVIA BUFFS: “Susan” is not only the name of Jack Davenport’s wife in Swingtown, it was also the name of Jack’s one true love in Coupling.
Enjoy a twofer today: two recipes for macaroni and cheese!
Now this is my all-time favorite macaroni and cheese recipe… and with good reason! It costs like… $25 to make this dish from scratch, but Good Lord… is it worth it! The recipe is available all over the Internet and is usually attributed to singer Patti LaBelle. I don’t know if that’s true or not, but I don’t care… It’s just good!
Ingredients:
1 tablespoon vegetable oil
1 pound elbow macaroni
8 tablespoons (1 stick) plus 1 tablespoon butter
1/2 cup (2 ounces) shredded Muenster cheese
1/2 cup (2 ounces) shredded mild Cheddar cheese
1/2 cup (2 ounces) shredded sharp Cheddar cheese
1/2 cup (2 ounces) shredded Monterey Jack
2 cups half-and-half
1 cup (8 ounces) Velveeta, cut into small cubes
2 large eggs, lightly beaten
1/4 teaspoon seasoned salt
1/8 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
Hardware:
1 2-quart casserole dish (deep)
1 large pot
1 large saucepan
1 large bowl
1 colander or strainer
Cooking spray or butter
1) Preheat the oven to 350° F. Lightly butter or spray a deep 2 1/2-quart casserole.
2) Bring the large pot of salted water to a boil over high heat. Add the oil, then the elbow macaroni, and cook until the macaroni is just tender, about 7 minutes. Do not overcook. Drain well. Return to the cooking pot.
3) In a small saucepan, melt eight tablespoons of the butter. Stir into the macaroni.
4) In a large bowl, mix the Muenster, mild and sharp Cheddar, and Monterey Jack cheeses.
5) To the macaroni, add the half-and-half, 1 1/2 cups of the shredded cheese mixture, the cubed Velveeta and the eggs. Season with salt and pepper. Transfer to the buttered casserole.
6) Sprinkle with the remaining 1/2-cup of shredded cheese and dot with the remaining one tablespoon of butter.
7) Bake until it’s bubbling around the edges, about 35 minutes.
Enjoy a twofer today: two recipes for macaroni and cheese!
Mac and Blue Cheese
This isn’t my favorite mac and cheese recipe, but it’s a close second. It uses blue cheese (along with sharp cheddar) to give the mac and cheese a complex, “adult” flavor.
It’s best to not skimp on the ingredients when making this dish. Since it’s designed to appeal to adult tastes, this mac and cheese would taste heavenly with crumbled Stilton and a fine sharp English cheddar. The packs of “regular” shredded cheddar and tubs of blue cheese in your grocer’s dairy counter will work OK… but the dish will not be nearly as good!
Ingredients:
1 pound elbow macaroni
4 tbsp butter
1/4 cup flour
2 cups whole milk
1 cup whipping cream
2 1/2 cups plus 1/2 cup sharp cheddar cheese, grated and divided
2 cups blue cheese, crumbled
Hardware:
1 large skillet
1 large pot
1 13×9″ pan
1 colander or strainer
Cooking spray or butter
1) Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease a 13×9 baking pan using cooking spray (or butter if you really want to be naughty!)
2) Cook the macaroni per package directions. For best results, try to undercook the pasta just a wee bit, so that it’s still very much al dente. Drain and leave in strainer until the sauce is ready.
3) Melt the butter in the large skillet over medium heat. When almost completely melted, add the flour. Stir constantly to let the roux cook for several minutes (until the roux almost starts bubbling and no longer tastes like flour.
4) Gradually whisk in the milk and cream, and simmer until mixture thickens, whisking constantly.
5) Reduce heat to low and slowly add the 2 1/2 cups of grated cheddar and crumbled blue cheese. Whisk until cheese melts, about 2 minutes, then season with salt and pepper.
6) Add cooked pasta to sauce and mix well.
7) Transfer mixture to prepared pan and sprinkle with remaining cheddar.
8) Bake until golden brown on top and bubbling, around 25 minutes.
A longtime reader of the jimcofer.com site wrote me recently, taking me to task for posting a Top 10 Celebrity Breasts list and not including pics.
You see, I met this guy through the Ars Technica forums, and worked with him in meatspace for about a year. And so… the Ars forums have a long history of people demanding pictures in certain threads. People that started any thread worthy of pics – be it a “Hurricane Grace just leveled my house!” or a “My GF just got a nipple piercing!” thread – certain posts demanded pictures, and people that posted incredible stories without pictures were taunted.
So, over time, Ars became known as a place where people had picture-taking bravado, as people (afraid of being taunted) began posting the most incredible pictures: people dangling off buildings… people with deadly Australian spiders in their bedrooms… the bomb squad working feverishly next door… the aftermath of fantastic car crashes and fires… everyone started reaching for their cameras first thing just “for Ars” instead of doing something… sensible like getting the hell outta there or calling the police.
And so, paying my debt as a true Arsian… I give you the pictures! Remember: I only used the top 10 girls from the InTouch poll – I just put them in my own order.
Click any pic for a high-res version:
1. Scarlett Johansson – Ahhhhhh, Scarlett! Your firm, 23 year-old breasts… your blonde hair… your deep green eyes… your strange opinions on polyamory and apparent conversion to Neotrantra… it all just makes old men like me weep.
2. Katherine Heigl – “I know, right? Where has she been hiding those things?”
3. Jessica Simpson – Yep… the poor thing is as dumb as a box of rocks. And she’s dating the freakin’ quarterback of my hated rival: the Dallas Cowboys. But hey – did you see her in the Real Girls Eat Meat shirt? Man, that’s hot! Even better: she wore it as a swipe at Romo’s ex-gf Carrie Underwood, herself twice voted “sexiest vegetarian” from PETA. Grrrrrrrrr!
4. Lindsay Lohan – There’s just something nasty about Linday Lohan’s boobies. And I mean that in the best way. Too bad for us, though: seems like ‘LaLohan’ (uuugh!) is playing for the other team these days.
5. Megan Fox – Actually, I don’t think Megan Fox has nice boobies. But the rest of her? It’s like “Rocket Fuel Malt Liquor… DAMN!” time, ya know?
6. Beyoncé Knowles – Ya know, I secretly think that Kim Kardashian is hot (yes, really)… but Beyoncé’s booty is just plain ridiculous.
7. Audrina Patridge – Someone from The Hills or something, I dunno. I’m getting old and losing my pop culture compass. Or perhaps my compass is just much more refined these days. You pick.
8. Tyra Banks – You know, Tyra Banks is crazy. And you know what Jim Cofer’s First Rule of Life is? “Don’t stick it in the crazy”. Sure… she looks good. But just wait until you start getting 120 text messages and 19 phone calls a day from this incredibly hot (yet completely crazy) woman.
9. Jennifer Aniston – Really? Jennifer Aniston? I can see where some might find her attractive and everything… but come on. This woman lost a call-waiting face off against Angelina Jolie, and lost badly. She’s just a loser. And she’s not aging very well, either.
10. Carmen Electra – Carmen Electra is a tired old bag. When I think of Carmen Electra, I think of two things: Dennis Rodman naked and\or sleeping with everyone in a bus station. Either one makes me shudder.
It’s common for a new college football coach to change his team’s uniforms in his first season. I suppose that it’s a visual reminder of the coach’s new regime or something.
In any case, Paul Johnson took over as head coach at Georgia Tech after least season, and the school announced that the team would be going back to their “classic white” uniforms (interesting side note: NCAA rules state that home teams must wear dark colors; exceptions to that rule were made for LSU and Georgia Tech, two teams that have historically worn white at home).
The Atlanta Journal’s website started this poll to see which “historical uniforms” Tech fans liked best. Here’s my take on them:
#1 – TRADITIONAL UNIFORM: Georgia Tech’s traditional white uniform. I’ve known this uniform my entire life, and I love it. The purists will argue that this is Tech’s only uniform, while uniform junkies dislike a team having just one uniform for both home and away games. I like this, and am glad that Tech’s going with this full-time.
#2 – THROWBACK UNIFORM: This is the Tech uniform of the 50s and 60s. I’m a complete sucker for the white helmet, and I think the team should wear it full-time. I also like the “mustard gold” of the throwback jersey; although it might seem jarring at first, I think the shade is more “manly” than the “new gold” jerseys the team wore last year. What I’d like to see is the throwback pants and helmets used with the traditional white jersey. THAT would be sweet!
#3 – REMEMBER SHAWN JONES? These uniforms remind me of Tech’s “glory year” (1990) and all the hype that went with it: the national championship, Shawn Jones, and the ability to beat UGA on a regular basis. Traditionalists (like my Dad) hated these uniforms (“there’s no navy in Tech’s colors!”) but to me, these unis bring back thoughts of the “good old days”. I can see the navy being HOT during games early in the year.
#4 – SO LAST YEAR: These are the uniforms that Tech wore in 2007. I don’t like the shade of gold they use for this jersey, and I absolutely hate the font used for player names on the back. I’m glad these are gone.
#5 – EVEN FOOTBALL UNIFORMS WERE BAD IN THE 80s: Wow – this uniform is… something. Personally, I think the navy shirt with gold pants is just a bit too much. Looking back on it now, these unis aren’t THAT bad (hey, look at Oregon’s uniforms) but still… I’m more of a minimalist with my uniforms. The Steelers haven’t changed their unis in what… 40+ years?
