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SIMON’S PICKS – WEEK 16

SimonJingle jingle, y’all! Simon here! Christmas is almost upon us, and I hope my gift to you is a list of puuuurfect picks! I went 11-5 again last week, for a total of 148-75 for the season. Let’s ho-ho-hope I can knock it out of the park this week! Y’all have a great Christmas! See y’all next week!

 
Atlanta at Detroit: Will Simon get his Christmas wish of seeing Calvin Johnson’s johnson? Probably not. But them Durty Birds will come to town and do a number on the Lions, honey! Take the Falcons!

New Orleans at Dallas: Although the Cowgirls beat the Steelers last week in OT, they didn’t look all that great against Pittsburgh’s fifth-string defenders (seriously, did you know any of those handsome mens the Steelers had on the field in the second half?). Sexy Drew Brees and that handsome Marques Colston will shred the Cowboys! Take the Aints!

Tennessee at Green Bay: Go green! Again! Take the Packers!

Indianapolis at Kansas City: Andrew Luuuuucccckk? Simon’s looking for yooooouuu! Don’t worry about this game, Colts fans: the last time a quarterback drafted by Kansas City won a game was 1987. Astsonishing, ain’t it? Take the Colts!

Buffalo at Miami: I like my South Beach mens in this game. Know why? Those Buffalo Boys are going to be too busy sippin’ Mai Tais on the beach to concentrate on the game! All those glistening bodies on the beach… I should check Expedia! Take the Dolphins!

San Diego at New York Jets: Wow… I’m sure this looked like an awesome game back in August. But just look at it now! Both the Jets and the Chargers are racing to see which team can implode first. And Dirty Sanchez will enjoy his last few weeks as a Jet. San Diego usually doesn’t play that well on the east coast, so take the Jets to eke out a win!

Washington at Philadelphia: I’m not sure what sport the Iggles are playing. With or without RG3 (“HEY HANDSOME!”), the Skins will win! Take the Redskins!

Cincinnati at Pittsburgh: Oh boy! Better tread carefully here! This is just about win or go home time for the Steelers, and they’re facing two teams at home that they’ve historically dominated. I want to pick the Steelers, especially with their backs to the wall like this. Having said that, the Kitties will keep it uncomfortably close. Like 16-13 close.

St. Louis at Tampa Bay: There’s a joke here somewhere about pirates and sheep… but it’ll be NO JOKE when the teams take the field: The Buccaneers will run all over the Rams (like, literally, honey! Doug Martin, I’ve got my eye on youuuu!).

Oakland at Carolina: Yawn. I love ya Cam, Jonathan and Steve.. but don’t make me watch your boring brand of football! When is Rivera gonna be fired? Is that in two weeks? Or three weeks? Having said all that, I’m picking the hometown kitties to win this one big! Take the Panthers, baby!

New England at Jacksonville: “And, like lambs to the slaughter, the Jacksonville Jaguars take the field!”. Take the Patriots to win… by at least 21 points!

Minnesota at Houston: If the handsome Cowmens can stop that slinky Adrian “What injury?” Peterson, then the game’s over. And I think they’re up to the task. Take the Texans!

Cleveland at Denver: The Simon has been defending the Browns all season long, calling them the “most dangerous 5-9 team in the league”. Well, I haven’t called them a “5-9” team all season long, ‘cos that would be silly. It would change week to week, like “most dangerous 5-8” team last week, or “most dangerous 4-7” team. You know what I’m sayin’, right? Oh dear… I’ve gotten off on a tangent again, haven’t I? We can edit that out later, right, Daddy? [Editor’s Note: No.] Hmmmph! Fine! Anyhoo, as dangerous as the Browns are, there’s NO WAY they beat the Broncos at home. No way at all.

Chicago at Arizona: Hey y’all! Let’s talk hot dogs! Ever have one of those ridiculous Chicago dawgs with the neon green relish and the tomatoes and the pickle spear? How about Sonora hot dogs, which are wrapped in bacon (yummy to Simon’s tummy!) and then covered in beans, grilled onions, fresh onions, tomatoes, mayo, cream sauce (I won’t even ASK about that!), mustard and Jalapeno salsa. What’s wrong with these people? Why can’t they eat hot dogs the New York Way, which is what God intended? Anyway, in the Duel of the Dogs, I say take the Bears to win, and win big. Like a “statement” kind of win.

New York Jets at Baltimore: My daddy says if the Steelers can’t win the AFC North, he sure as hell doesn’t want the Ratbirds to win! I don’t know if the Giants have the mojo to pull off in win in Bawlmer, but it would be delicious if they did. So I’m gonna take the Giants, although I think the Ravens will, in the end, squeak out a win.

San Francisco at Seattle: Whoever would have thought an NFC West game would be the Beatdown of the Week? Yet, here we are: this Sunday Night Football match-up should be the best game on TV this weekend, and The Simon doesn’t know who to pick! It’s SO HARD (heh) to win in Seattle thanks to all those hyped up latté sippers… but the 49ers are pretty much bad ass at this point. So I will represent my buddies in the gay community at pick the 49ers.Stay fabulous, y’all!

Again, Simon hopes y’all have a merry lil’ Christmas! See y’all next week!

XOXOXOXO

Simon

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(More) Music of 2012

According to Last.fm, here are my top bands of 2012. The number in parenthesis is the number of times I’ve played the band in the past 12 months:

#1: Marsheaux (1,041)
#2: Saint Etienne (353)
#3: The Raveonettes (280)
#4: Ambra Red (278)
#5: Washed Out (165)
#6: Katy Perry (149)
#7: Roxy Music (142)
#8: Beach House (138)
#9: Freezepop (97)
#10: Blouse (96)

And here are my top albums by playcount in 2012. Note that unlike my Albums of the Year list (which was limited to albums released in 2012), the following albums may come from any year. The first number in parenthesis is the year the album was released; the second is the playcount:

#1: Marsheaux – Lumineux Noir (2009) (494)
#2: Ambra Red – Electronic Creations For Special People (2010) (277)
#3: Saint Etienne – Words and Music by Saint Etienne (2012) (227)
#4: Marsheaux – E-Bay Queen Is Dead (2012) (175)
#5: Beach House – Bloom (2012) (133)
#6: The Raveonettes – Observator (2012) (113)
#7: Marsheaux – Peek a Boo (2006) (91)
#8: Marsheaux – E-Bay Queen (2004) (84)
#9: Washed Out – Within and Without (2011) (80)
#10: Freezepop – Future Future Future Perfect (2007) (79)

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SIMON’S PICKS – WEEK 15

SimonHey, y’all! Simon here! Well, I went 11-5 AGAIN last week, and am 137-70 for the season. And I’m actually busy planning some festive holiday brunches this week and have no time to do my regular full picks. Sorry ’bout that! Here’s a list of my picks, though, just so you can use them if you need ’em! 

 

Cincinnati at Philadelphia: Kitties always beat birds! Take the Bengals!

New York Giants at Atlanta: Apparently giants can beats birds, too. Take the Giants!

Green Bay at Chicago: Go green! Take the Packers!

Washington at Cleveland: The Skins will win! Take the Redskins!

Minnesota at St. Louis: I like Vikes on spikes! Take the Vikings!

Jacksonville at Miami: Kitties are smart… but not smarter Dolphins!

Tampa Bay at New Orleans: I guess you can put the ‘S’ back in front of their name: take the Saints!

Denver at Baltimore: Peyton goes bird hunting, highlights at 11! Take the Broncos!

Indianapolis at Houston: It’s hard to beat the Texans at home. Take the Texans!

Seattle at Buffalo: I don’t know how a bird would take down a bison, but it’s happening. Take the Seahawks!

Detroit at Arizona: The last nail in the Whiz’s coffin! Take the Lions!

Carolina at San Diego: Norv’s on the way out, but they’ll take out the Panthers! Take the Chargers!

Pittsburgh at Dallas: This depends on which two teams show up. I’ll take the Steelers, because they have Liverpool Syndrome*, but wouldn’t be surprised if the Cowboys won, either.

Kansas City at Oakland: Yaaaaaar! Take the Raiders to win this one!

San Francisco at New England: Wow! Good game! Take the Patriots at home, though.

New York Jets at Tennessee: The Monday Night Football game no one will watch. Take the Titans.

* – For the past several years, the Liverpool Football Club has played well against quality opponents like Arsenal, Chelsea and Manchester United. But they’ve really struggled against mediocre opponents like Queen’s Park Rangers. Does that sound familiar, Steelers fans?

Hope y’all enjoy the picks!

XOXOXOXO

Simon

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The Year in TV (2012)

2011 was a great year for TV. 2012?  Not so much. The first half was pretty decent, but the second half of the year was pretty much a strike-out. So while 2011’s list was a lot of work (because I had to whittle down a huge list to acceptable levels), 2012’s list was also a lot of work (because it was that hard coming up with a list of decent new shows).

And so… the list, keeping in mind that this is all about new shows, not returning ones. There’s also lists of shows that didn’t make it, shows that ended this year, the biggest disappointment of the year, the best news of the year and the best and worst moments of the year. Enjoy!


THE BEST NEW SHOWS OF 2012

Don’t Trust the Bitch in Apartment 23 (ABC) – The premise of this show is simple: June, a naive and trusting Indianan, moves to New York City after graduating college to pursue her dream career. But on her first day the CEO of her mortgage company is arrested for running a Ponzi scheme. Desperate, June becomes the roommate of Chloe McGruff (Krysten Ritter), an amoral scam artist, a swindler and party girl. Chloe is the worst person ever, and is only genuinely nice to her best friend, former Dawson’s Creek actor James Van Der Beek. Unfortunately, the ratings aren’t very good, the writing has taken a turn for the worse in season 2, and ABC is monkeying around with the episode order. I don’t expect it to last much longer.

apt_23

Line of Duty (BBC) – Every year the BBC puts out a really dark police drama in which the police aren’t necessarily any better than the people they’re chasing. Be it my personal fave Luther or last year’s favorite The Shadow Line, there’s always some show about the dark side of police work. This year’s entry is Line of Duty, in which the young, idealistic Detective Sergeant Steve Arnott (Martin Compston) accidentally causes the death of an innocent man during an anti-terrorist raid. Arnott refuses to participate in a cover-up of the incident, and is ruthlessly ostracized by his colleagues for it. To get away from them he joins an internal affairs division led by Superintendent Ted Hastings (Adrian Dunbar). Hastings’ main target is Detective Chief Inspector Tony Gates (the great Lennie James). Gates’ unit consistently has huge arrest numbers, and Hastings knows that this is partly because Gates only takes on cases he knows he can solve, then piles tons of charges on criminals once caught. But Hastings suspects the corruption is far worse. Although family man Gates might not want to admit it, he has a mistress, and she just might get him in a world of trouble.

line_of_duty

Copper (BBC America) – And speaking of dark police dramas, BBC America debuted its first original series, Copper, about Kevin “Corky” Corcoran (Tom Weston-Jones), a rough and tumble Irish cop in 1860s New York City, specifically the notorious, crime and poverty ridden Five Points neighborhood. Like a lot of men at the time, Corky went away to fight the Confederates in the Civil War, and while he was away his wife and daughter were murdered. Much of the series is about his investigation into what happened to them. He’s helped by Robert Morehouse (Kyle Schmid) a wealthy industrialist who was his major in the Union Army, Eva Heissen (Franka Potente), a Prussian madam who knows a lot of secrets, and Dr. Matthew Freeman (Ato Essandoh), a black physician who seems to know more about forensic science than any other doctor in America at the time (one of my small beefs about the show). Many disliked the show, saying it was too slow, and the fact that it was set in a time-frame similar to the slightly more popular Hell On Wheels didn’t help. But if you stick with it, you’ll be rewarded. It’s a well-done series with rich characters and well thought-out stories.

Copper

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Top 10 Tunes

From the home office in London, here’s my list of Top 10 Tunes for the week ending December 8, 2012:

1) The Raveonettes – “She Owns The Streets”
2) Roxy Music – “The Space Between”
3) The Raveonettes – “You Hit Me (I’m Down)”
4) Jessica Bailiff – “If You Say It (My Friend, My Love)”
5) Jessica Bailiff – “Violets & Roses (For a Black Romantic Heart)”
6) Jessica Bailiff – “This is Real (Soft & Feral)”
7) Foretaste – “Goodbye Horses”
8) Ladyhawke – “Magic”
9) Class Actress – “Careful What You Say”
10) Wild Nothing – “Disappear Always”

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My Top Albums of 2012

Hi ho, folks! The end of the year is approaching, and it’s time to roll out my “Best of” lists for the year! I decided to start with music this year, because my TV list is a giant mess. Seriously. If the TV list was a middle school book report, I’d give poor Ms. Kilgore a heart attack. She’d have to buy a hundred red pens to edit it for me! So enjoy the music list first!

As always, remember that this list is about complete albums and not individual songs. Yes, there may be songs from 2012 that I liked better than anything on this list… but, as a whole, the following ten albums are my favorite of the year!

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#10: Brian Eno – Lux

As I said in my Best Albums of 2010 piece, I’ve never been a fan of Eno’s pop music (aside from his work with Roxy Music, of course). His other works, like Ambient 1 and Discreet Music are two of my all-time favorite albums, period. I put Small Craft on a Milk Sea on my “Best of 2010” list, and am doing the same for this year’s Lux. I actually hesitated with this one, though. Where Ambient 1 and Discreet Music were groundbreaking albums, this one isn’t his best. It’s pretty good, technically speaking, but it just doesn’t leave much of a lasting impression. Having said that, mediocre Eno is better than 90% of the other crap out there, so he makes the list with this album, too!

10_brian_eno

#9: Madness – Qui Qui Si Si Ja Ja Da Da

I’ve been a Madness fan since “Our House” hit the US charts back in 1982. I rushed out to buy the single, then bought every album and EP of theirs I could find. And while a lot of 80s bands are still releasing new albums of mediocre material, Madness never really went away, culturally speaking. I really dug 2005’s The Dangermen Sessions Vol. 1, but just didn’t warm up to 2009’s The Liberty of Norton Folgate. In fact, I deleted the album from my digital collection just a couple of weeks ago. Thankfully, Oui Oui Si Si Ja Ja Da Da is a return to form. Whereas Liberty seemed like a love song that only invited Londoners to the party, this new disc is for everyone. It’s pretty solid – especially the opening tracks –  and is surely worth a listen on your part.

09_madness

#8: The Vaccines – Come of Age

I don’t know why, but I just love The Vaccines. Certainly they crank out catchy guitar-pop tunes with awesome hooks… but I think it’s their cheekiness that really sells me on them. The first time I heard “Post Break-Up Sex” I was almost in stitches; they did a pretty good job of capturing the… awkwardness one feels immediately after a break-up. So when heard that they had a new disc out, I rushed to find it… and it didn’t disappoint. Songs like “Aftershave Ocean” and “Teenage Icon” encapsulate everything I love about the band. They almost make me feel like a teenager all over again, but at the same time their often sarcastic lyrics make me appreciate being older.

08_vaccines

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My Favorite Android Apps

I’ve used this site to publish lists of all sorts of favorite things: TV shows, albums, radio stations, Firefox extensions… Yet it occurred to me the other day that, despite having an Android phone for almost two years now, I  haven’t done a “Best Android Apps” post yet. So let’s fix that!

Below are some of my most favoritest Android apps. I’ve tried to keep the list as general as possible: I have several sports apps I love, but not everyone loves sports, so I’ve left them off the list. All apps listed below are free, although many have “Pro” or “Ad-Free” flavors, too. Some require root access, but these will be noted as such. All links are to the app’s page on Google Play.

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Shush! – This app silences the ringer on your phone for a given amount of time. But the best part is that there’s no “app”. You just use the volume buttons on the side of your phone to silence the ringer, and a window pops up asking when you’d like the ringer to come back on. There’s also an option to choose the volume level when the ringer comes back:

shush

I use this app every single day: I charge my phone on my nightstand, but don’t want the various notification sounds to wake up me or the missus. So I set it silence the phone until 08:30 or so the next morning. I say “or so” because there’s no way to have Shush! resume the ringer at a specific time. As you can see from the screen cap above, there’s an awkward rotary menu, and it selects time in 15 minute chunks. So if I use Shush! at 23:07, my only options will be to restore the ringer at 08:07, 08:17, 08:37, or 08:47. I kind of wish Shush! also had a whitelist feature, where calls from people I choose could override the settings. I know such apps exist, and I’ve used them before, but I keep coming back to Shush! ‘cos it’s simple and it “just works”!

Alarm Clock Xtreme Free – If there’s one thing Google Play has tons of, it’s alarm clock apps. I should know: I’ve tried a hundred of them. And Alarm Clock Xtreme is my alarm of choice. You can use the app as a traditional alarm clock (choose the time, set the mp3 you want as the alarm), but the reason I like it is that it has math CAPTCHAs. Yes, you have to solve math problems to turn this alarm clock off. And, because of that, I’ve almost never overslept with this. You can choose how many math problems you want, and how complex you want them to be (“11 + 4” or “227 / 6”?). It also has a “graduwake” feature, where the alarm starts softly but gets louder as it goes on. There’s even an option to have “decreasing snooze duration” (i.e. the first time you hit snooze, you get 10 minutes; the second time you get 8 minutes). Despite so many options, the app is simple, and most importantly, the app is reliable. I’ve tried other alarm clocks in the past, and believe it or not, many had problems waking the phone from deep sleep. Like Shush!, Alarm Clock Xtreme “just works”!

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SIMON’S PICKS – WEEK 14

SimonHey, y’all! Simon here! Well, I went 11-5 last week, and am 126-65 for the season. I guess I shoulda listened to my daddy about the Steelers, huh? I got a stern “talking to” from him about it, and will pick the Steelers the rest of the way! So anyway, enjoy my picks for week 14!

 

Denver at Oakland: Y’all, Oakland is just terrible, while The Forehead and that sexy Demaryius Thomas are on FIRE! Pick the Broncos to win this game, and win it big!

St. Louis at Buffalo: Yawn. My daddy has a soft spot for Chan Gailey because he once coached for Georgia Tech. So I’ll take the Bills to win at home, although I don’t really care either way. And neither will millions of football fans!

Dallas at Cincinnati: Hoo boy! Now here’s a game! Head doofus Tony Romo heads to the City of Weird Chili to take on the Bungles. My daddy would love for Romo and his Band of Handsome Mens – Jason Witten, Dez Bryant, and especially Miles Austin – to come in and get a win. The return of that hawt fox DeMarco Murray will certainly help them out, too. As much as I’d like the Cowboys to win for my daddy, I think the Bengals will take the win here.

Kansas City at Cleveland: Oh Gawd! This game is even worse than the Rams\Bills game. I shouldn’t be too hard on the Chiefs after the Javon Belcher tragedy. But while they played an inspired game over the better-than-everyone-thinks Panthers, I’m not sure that the inspiration will carry over to this week. Take the Browns to win at home here. Gosh, it leaves a bad taste in my mouth to say that… and I lick my own butt!

Tennessee at Indianapolis: Yawn. Take the Colts. I guess. Watching the cute lil’ Andrew Luck is better than watching paint dry… isn’t it?

Chicago at Minnesota: heh. People from MinnahSODA talk funny. “MinnahSODA”. hehehehe. Won’t matter for them, though. The Bears will come in and beat some Viking ass on Sunday!

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Removing Apps from Google Play

In keeping with this site’s long tradition of being the LAST SITE ON THE INTERNET to bring you important news, enjoy this Android-related article!

If you have an Android device, you probably already know that every app you download is saved in your account at the Google Play store. There are several “official” reasons why this is, the most obvious being that if you upgrade to a newer phone (or your current phone is lost or stolen and replaced), you can simply log in to your Play account and download your apps all over again. It’s also helpful to have a single Play account with all your apps if you have more than one Android device.

Removing apps from your phone is easy: just go to Settings > Applications, find the app you want to uninstall and click on it, then click the “Uninstall” button. But removing apps from your Google Play account used to be impossible. Cynics say that Google did this so that it could inflate the numbers of downloaded apps for PR purposes. Google said it was just trying to help users keep track of their apps.

For most people, the whole thing was a giant pain in the ass. Many went on downloading sprees when they first got their device(s) and now their accounts are clogged with dozens of apps they no longer use. Some apps are only good for a certain time, like the London 2012 Olympics app or the Euro 2012 soccer tournament app. Maybe a user thought they had malware once, and they downloaded several antivirus apps to try and fix it.

The point is, most Google Play accounts are littered with apps users no longer want or need. They’re not really “hurting” anything by remaining in Play accounts, but some of us despise clutter. Why won’t Google give us some way to delete apps we’re absolutely, positively sure we don’t want any more?

Well now they have. Open Google Play on your device and scroll left to the “All” category. You’ll see all the apps in your Google Play account. You may press on any app not currently installed on your device to install it if you wish. But you’ll also see the international “No” sign by any apps not currently installed on any of your devices:

Google Play

Just click the “No” sign and then click OK to acknowledge that you wish to permanently remove the app from your Google Play account. Wait a few minutes for the Play app to sync with the store, and the app will be gone forever! According to some things I’ve read at other sites, users of newer Android versions (ICS? Jellybean?) can long-press on the “No” symbol to select multiple apps for deletion at once; however this doesn’t seem to work on my Gingerbread phone. Regardless, I’m overjoyed to FINALLY get rid of all those useless apps I never, ever use!