It’s been a long time since I did one of these, but hopefully this one will bring the funny!
Separated at birth… MSNBC’s “soon to be fired if her ratings drop any lower” Rachel Maddow and New York Giants quarterback Eli Manning:
Freaky in Raleigh!
So… a “new life form” was discovered in the sewers of Raleigh, North Carolina recently:
Freaky lookin’, no? Although it looks like something out of the Alien films, they are actually run of the mill worms.
According to Dr. Timothy S. Wood, they’re really just “clumps of annelid worms, almost certainly tubificids”. He further states that they “[normally] occur in soil and sediment, especially at the bottom and edges of polluted streams. In the photo [sic] they have apparently entered a pipeline somehow, and in the absence of soil they are coiling around each other. The contractions you see are the result of a single worm contracting and then stimulating all the others to do the same almost simultaneously, so it looks like a single big muscle contracting”.
Much thanks to this site for the tip.
Making Kubrick Header Clickable
In this post, I showed you how to use Adobe Photoshop to make your own kubrickheader.jpg file for the default WordPress theme, so you could replace the boring old blue graphic with something a bit snazzier.
There’s just one problem with my method: by default, WordPress will still want to display the blog name and tagline over the graphic. Although you can change the color of the text via the “Custom Header” applet in the Admin panel, this is not always the way you’d want to go about it. You cannot easily change the font, nor can you easily change the placement of the text. So sometimes your cool graphic gets “cluttered” with your blog’s name and tagline.
You could always go to Customer Header > Advanced and click the “Toggle Display Text” option, but this presents another problem: once you do this, the text will disappear, but the header graphic will no longer be clickable. So if someone comes to a specific page on your site via a search engine, they won’t be able to simply click the header graphic to go to your home page – they’ll have to manually edit the address bar back to your home page. And that’s just not satisfactory. What’s more, most people that are familiar with Photoshop would probably rather use the text tools included with the app to make their own text in the font, color, place and style of their choosing.
Mindy Kahling ROCKS!
Mindy Kahling, known to most as “Kelly Kapoor” on the sitcom The Office, also a writes and produces the show. And when she’s not doing that, she’s running the funniest Twitter page in history. Seriously! I literally laugh out loud at a lot of her tweets!
Interestingly, although Kahling claims that Kelly Kapoor is just a character she plays, Kahling’s tweets and the posts she writes on her blog (“Things I Bought That I Love“) seem to indicate that there’s actually a fair amount of Mindy in Kelly.
Check out these tweets for some serious funny:
– I get it @samantharonson, you’re a big deal bc you have a washer AND a dryer.
– The common brown forest fox does not have a lot in common with the artic snow fox, and yet they can be friends. America, are u watching?
– For dinner I want to eat a box of cherry Pop Tarts and a can of Sprite. Instead: salmon and steamed broccoli. Fuck.
– “Gran Torino” is a great movie but it shouldve been called “Get Off My Lawn”.
– I just *knew* that the drivethru of the mcdonalds that was under construction would still be open. Kids, always believe in yourselves.
R.I.P. Billy Mays
Dammit! Would people stop dying, please?
Television pitchman Billy Mays — who built his fame by appearing on commercials and infomercials promoting household products and gadgets — died Sunday, FOX News confirms.
Mays was found unresponsive by his wife inside his Tampa, Fla., home at 7:45 a.m. on Sunday, according to the Tampa Police Department.
Police said there were no signs of forced entry to Mays’ residence and foul play is not suspected. Authorities said an autopsy should be complete by Monday afternoon.
via Report: ‘Infomercial King’ Billy Mays Found Dead in Home – FOXNews.com.
Twitter Weekly Updates for 2009-06-28
- Two words that aren’t funny by themselves, but *hilarious* together: anal jihad! #
- Show support for democracy in Iran add green overlay to your Twitter avatar with 1-click – http://helpiranelection.com/ #
- OMG! I found out today that I like sweet potato casserole… as long as you put so much brown sugar and pecans in it that it tastes like … #
- “No sugar? Damn. Y’all ain’t never got two things that match. Either y’all got Kool-aid, no sugar. Peanut butter, no jelly. Ham, no burg … #
- Working on my Firefox keywords… exciting, I know! #
- BETTER OFF TED returns to ABC tonight! PLEASE watch… it’s a hilarious show that really needs a chance! #
- Going to do errands soon. Fun, fun! #
Hotel Babylon: Season 4, Episode 2
Hotel Babylon
Season 4, episode 2
Aired: June 26, 2009 on BBC1
SYNOPSIS
Sam, Babylon’s new owner, stumbles out of the gate. He has no prior experience at running a hotel, and he accidentally offers guests more than the hotel can deliver. Perhaps the worst blunder is offering several rooms to his old friend Carlton Foreman. Foreman is a boxing promoter, and he’s bringing his new protegé Don ‘Pitbull’ Morrison to the hotel for his fight over the weekend. What Sam doesn’t know is that Morrison’s opponent, Spanish fighter Fernando Gomes, has already been booked into the hotel. It’s a colossal blunder, and Babylon’s staff scramble to keep the two camps separated.
Meanwhile, Babylon has been chosen at the site for the joint 40th birthday parties of lifestyle gurus Ed and Erin Martyn, the stars of a Martha Stewart-type show. But when the Martyn’s nanny ditches the family, Anna is appointed to take care of their son, Tyler. She quickly finds out that the “perfect couple” do nothing but argue all day long. When Tyler lashes out at them, Anna steps up and becomes a lifeline for the family. They’re still getting divorced, but perhaps they’ll be nicer to their son now. Anna’s interactions with Tyler also calm some of her fears about up impending motherhood.
Weekend Fun: Sting
I won’t be posting much this weekend, so here’s a little music clip to keep you entertained. It’s Sting singing an acoustic version of “Message in a Bottle”. Recorded live during an Amnesty International benefit gig in London, it was featured in (as was perhaps the best musical performance of) the 1982 film The Secret Policeman’s Other Ball:
FRIDAY FUN: Rachel Leigh Cook
I used to hate Rachel Leigh Cook. Not only was she a self-righteous little snot and total straight edge (she doesn’t drink, smoke, do drugs, or eat meat), she had the nerve to bring her views into my living room by doing those annoying “This is Your Brain On Drugs” commercials (remember her smashing up the kitchen with a frying pan?)
But I’ve mellowed over the years, and I just can’t help thinking that she’s a little cutie. Plus, she seems to have given up on “Corporate Hollywood” and instead does quirky little indie films, which is always cool in my book. I especially like her hair, which is neither brown nor blonde. It appeals to both of my senses:
See the rest of these “photoshopped to hell and back” pictures at The Bastardly here.
Perez Hilton: WTF?!?!
So… Perez Hilton got into a scuffle with the Black Eyed Peas’ Will.I.Am and some of his entourage this past weekend.
Hilton then called Will.I.Am a “fucking faggot” (important note: Perez Hilton is gayer than a handbag full of rainbows). This comment got him in trouble with the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation; one of their spokespeople called Hilton’s words “vulgar anti-gay slurs that feed a climate of hatred and intolerance toward our community” (another important note: not only is Hilton gay, he once worked for GLADD). He has since apologized, but in his apology he noted that he was not apologizing to GLADD.
So now Hilton announced that he is suing Black Eyed Peas’ manager Polo Molina for various bullshit “pain and suffering” issues. He also announced that he’d be donating any proceeds from the suit to the Matthew Shepard Foundation (note: Matthew Shepard was a gay student at the University of Wyoming who was tortured and beaten to death, thus becoming the subject of yet another sanctimonious and preachy HBO movie – The Laramie Project). Only, the Foundation says that they don’t want his money.
How bizarre is this whole story?