Phil? Is that you?

Originally posted by Scott on Facebook via Craigslist:

Devil worshippers wanted for evil black metal band (Bessemer City)

Looking to form totally blasphemous and evil black metal band to sing the praises of the dark lord. Must have evil image and equipment. Guitar must be black. How in the hell are you going to be all evil and worship the devil with a yellow guitar?

Must be able to practice on weekends at my house….that’s when my mama goes out of town to see her boyfriend in Gastonia. We can be all evil and drink beer and smoke while she is gone but just don’t track mud into the den or use her bathroom or I might get grounded.

Serious inquiries only. Hail Satan!!!

Phil’s gotta be behind this! I mean… Bessemer City? Evil metal bands? Tracking mud in the house? Doesn’t it sound like a prank ad Phil might write?

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