Hey, y’all! Simon here! Well, the Football Feline went 10-5 last week, which is pretty good, and sets me up at 41-22 on the season so far. The Simon can make ONE rock-solid prediction this weekend: the Steelers WILL NOT lose… it’s their bye week! Hehehehe… sorry, Daddy!
Buffalo at Cleveland: Well, isn’t this surprising… The CLEVELAND BROWNS are tied for first in the AFC North! And how’s this… even though the Steelers are 0-4, they’re only 2 games out of first place! What a world! What’s Simon been telling you about the Bills, huh? Better than you thought, huh? Too bad they’re going to lose this weekend. Take the Browns to win on Thursday night, honey!
New Orleans at Chicago: The Aints aren’t nearly as good on the road as they are at home, and this one won’t be a runaway win for them… But I think ol’ Drew Brees and that handsome Marques Colston will come away with the win for the Saints!
New England at Cincinnati: HEEEEYYYY TOOOOOMMM! YOO-HOOOOO! SIMON’S LOOKING FOR YOOOOOUU! And Tom Terrific will be looking for a win against my kitty cousins… and he’ll get it, too. This may be one of the least overall talented New England teams in recent history… but all they do is win, baby! Take the Patriots to handle the Bungles easily!
Detroit at Green Bay: [insert joke about Calvin Johnson’s massive johnson here]. The Motor City KItties want to sneak a win at Lambeau. Ain’t gonna happen. Take the Packers to go, Pack, go this weekend!
Kansas City at Tennessee: Barbeque City versus Music City? Girl, you know Simon’s all about some tasty treats! Take the Chiefs to cook the Titans low and slow for 3-4 hours this Sunday afternoon! And then drench ’em in sauce!
“I am not turning down the money! I’m turning down you! You get it?! I want nothing to do with you! Ever since I met you, everything I ever cared about is gone! Ruined, turned to shit, dead, ever since I hooked up with the great Heisenberg! I have never been more alone! I have NOTHING! NO ONE! ALL RIGHT, IT’S ALL GONE, GET IT? No, no, no, why…why would you get it? What do you even care, as long as you get what you want, right? You don’t give a shit about me! You said I was no good. I’m nothing! Why would you want me, huh? You said my meth is inferior, right? Right? Hey! You said my cook was GARBAGE! Hey, screw you, man! Screw you!”
– Aaron Paul as Jesse Pinkman
Breaking Bad, “One Minute”