Drinking whiskey clear!
Stuff to make you laugh…
One of the upsides of Firefox is that it has a built-in spell-checker, so when you type up a post on a message board (or in WordPress!), you get the same red squiggly line under misspelled words like you do in Microsoft Word.
One of the downsides of Firefox is that the spell-checker is… quirky:
Yep, it’s telling me that “brain” is misspelled, and offers no suggestions on how to spell it “correctly”.
In the 2009 Family Guy episode titled “Jerome Is the New Black”, Glen Quagmire doesn’t like Brian any more, so Brian takes him out for a steak and begs him to explain why he doesn’t want to hang out with him. So Glen says:
“Okay, I’ll tell ya. You are the worst person I know. You constantly hit on your best friend’s wife, the man pays for your food and rescued you from certain death and this is how you repay him? And to add insult to injury, you defecate all over his yard. And you’re such a sponge. You pay for nothing, you always say “Oh, I’ll get you later”… but later never comes! And what really bothers me is you pretend you’re this deep guy who loves women for their souls, when all you do is date bimbos. Yeah, I date women for their bodies, but at least I’m honest about it. I don’t buy them a copy of Catcher in the Rye and then lecture them with some seventh-grade interpretation of how Holden Caulfield is some profound intellectual. He wasn’t! He was a spoiled brat! And that’s why you like him so much, he’s you! God, you’re pretentious! And you delude yourself by thinking you’re some great writer even though you’re terrible. You know, I should have known Cheryl Tiegs didn’t write me that note. She would have known there’s no ‘a’ in the word ‘definite’. And I think what I hate most about you is your textbook liberal agenda, how we should ‘legalize pot, man’, how big business is crushing the underclass, how homelessness is the biggest tragedy in America. Well, what have you done to help? I work down at the soup kitchen, Brian. Never seen you down there! You wanna help? Grab a ladle! And by the way, driving a Prius doesn’t make you Jesus Christ! Oh, wait! You don’t believe in Jesus Christ or any religion for that matter, because ‘religion is for idiots’! Well, who the hell are you to talk down to anyone? You failed college twice, which isn’t nearly as bad as your failure as a father! How’s that son of yours you never see? But you know what? I could forgive all of that, all of it, if you weren’t such a bore! That’s the worst of it, Brian. You’re just a big, sad, alcoholic bore.”
Although hilarious, this quote pretty much encapsulates why I don’t watch Family Guy any more.
Yahoo! Answers is a site where you can ask anything, and hopefully some helpful strangers will answer it for you. Yahoo! probably intended for the site to host questions like “What’s the best place to get a burger on the Upper West Side?” and “How can you get from San Diego to Sacramento by train?”… but even they can’t stop the stupid.
This site has a list of some of the best (worst?) questions and answers, like “Cheerleaders Y du u think their stupid?” and “Why are there school?”… and my personal favorite:
Check it out at the link!
Here are a few things I’ve stumbled across lately, mostly funny stuff with a couple of “cool” things thrown in just to “keep it balanced”:
– I have a passing interest in stock photography. It stems from when I subscribed to several IT magazines and saw the same hot girl, standing in a server room with her arms crossed and a smile on her face, used in different ads over and and over again. So I was amused to see one site ask why stock photo women laugh when they eat salad, and why black women are so happy to shop. Any guesses?
– Paula Deen gives us her “wisdom” in this recipe for English peas. Don’t want to click the link? The recipe has two ingredients (butter and peas) and I’ll let you figure out the rest of the recipe. More culinary genius from the folks at FN!
– Here is the alleged intro for the Japanese version of 30 Rock:
Looks like an 80s sitcom on CBS, no?
– Speaking of TV, here’s a cool behind-the-scenes look at the CGI used in Boardwalk Empire. Aside from the obvious (but well done) CGI used for backgrounds, the video shows us how they make Richard Harrow into a grotesquely maimed WWI vet.
– The folks at Failblog have a picture of the best anti-shoplifting sign ever:
– Some Charlotte filmmakers are making a documentary about the rise and fall of The Penguin. Check out the teaser:
– And lastly, Android has jumped ahead of iOS in the US smartphone market! Woo-hoo!
I don’t know why this makes me giggle so much, but it does:
So… Duran Duran released their new single yesterday as a free download from iTunes. Although I still have a $29+ credit at the iTunes store and will make every effort to buy the full album when it’s released on December 21, I’m still a greedy pirate at heart. I wanted to know if the album had leaked online yet, and to do that I searched Google for “duran duran” site:blogspot.com. (“duran duran” is in quotes so Google will know that I’m search for the English pop band, and not boxer Roberto Duran or diver Cassius Duran; “site:blogspot.com” tells Google to only search the blogspot.com domain, once a haven for free music shared via sites like RapidShare).
Anyway, most of the top results were to blog posts linking to the new single at iTunes, but I also found this gem in a review of some new Koss headphones. These cans don’t “leak” very much, the review says, so you can listen to them without annoying the people around you. Or, as the reviewer says:
“Fellow commuters will never know that you are really listening to Duran Duran instead of Lincoln Park.”
First of all, it’s “Linkin Park“, you moron.
Secondly, and most importantly… in what possible universe is listening to Duran Duran worse than listening to Linkin Park? I mean… seriously!
It’s not just me, is it?
“On the list of user-hostile IT department behaviors, ‘being a Citrix shop’ ranks above everything except physically beating problem users to death with old servers.”
– WDReinhart
Ars Technica user
From here, for all the Grammar Nazis out there:
Like me, Lisa thinks Food Network is all kinds of ridiculous. But she still watches an episode of something here and there if the dishes mentioned in the program guide interest her. She also sometimes DVRs stuff she thinks I might like.
She recently recorded an episode of Meat and Potatoes (what the hell is this show and where did it come from?). I was watching the intro, and noticed a huge geography fail in it. Towards the end of the credits, a bunch of steak knives fly into a map of the US, and names of the cities appear underneath them, presumably to show you where the show has been. The only problem is that the knife for “Atlanta, Georgia” lands in northwestern Alabama:
I emailed this to the folks over at FoodNetworkHumor.com and they ran it! So now I’m an INTERNET SUPER STAR… although I don’t like how they said I was “one of the only 7 people in America” who watches the show. I don’t “watch” the show.. Lisa thought I might like this particular episode based on what the program guide said. I’m not a regular viewer of the show.
Elizabeth Taylor and Robert Smith?