Category: Funny Stuff

Atlanta peeps might enjoy this mildly amusing “review” of the Murder Kroger. If you don’t know what the “Murder Kroger” is, you won’t get the joke:

At the intersection of Ponce de Leon Avenue and Ponce de Leon Place is a grocery store that residents of Atlanta affectionately call Murder Kroger. To the best of my knowledge, the grocery store has never been the site of a murder.

Not nearly as fun as the Disco Kroger, no?

via Field Trip to Murder Kroger.

Boulineau’s is an IGA grocery store in Cherry Grove Beach, South Carolina. Because it’s in a popular tourist spot, the store goes the “extra mile” with a giant deli\hot foods section, a souvenir section… even a section for “beach stuff” like rafts, beach towels and sunscreen.

But the “regular” parts of the store go that “extra mile”, too. Here’s a pic of the meat case:

Yes, there’s a pair of sunglasses embedded in the ground pork. I think the store shapes the pork in the shape of a pig and puts the glasses on it, but it was kind of hard to tell that late in the day, as it had been picked over pretty well by the butchers.

Lisa and recently stopped by our local Dollar Tree to pick up some stuff, and I couldn’t help but laugh at this poster:

Yes, because when my life is on the line, I want to stock up on questionable canned food from Nigeria, flashlights that may or may not work, batteries of dubious quality, first aid supplies from the lowest possible bidder, and tape that strains to hold two pieces of paper together, much less anything else!

A man in a hot air balloon realised he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below. He descended a bit more and shouted, “Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don’t know where I am.”

The woman below replied, “You’re in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You’re between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude.”

“You must be an engineer,” said the balloonist.

“I am,” replied the woman, “How did you know?”

“Well,” answered the balloonist, “everything you told me is technically correct, but I’ve no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I’m still lost. Frankly, you’ve not been much help at all. If anything, you’ve delayed my trip.”

The woman below responded, “You must be in Management.”

“I am,” replied the balloonist, “but how did you know?”

“Well,” said the woman, “you don’t know where you are or where you’re going. You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise, which you’ve no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it’s my fault.”

Mindy Kahling, known to most as “Kelly Kapoor” on the sitcom The Office, also a writes and produces the show. And when she’s not doing that, she’s running the funniest Twitter page in history. Seriously! I literally laugh out loud at a lot of her tweets!

Interestingly, although Kahling claims that Kelly Kapoor is just a character she plays, Kahling’s tweets and the posts she writes on her blog (“Things I Bought That I Love“) seem to indicate that there’s actually a fair amount of Mindy in Kelly.

Check out these tweets for some serious funny:

– I get it @samantharonson, you’re a big deal bc you have a washer AND a dryer.

– The common brown forest fox does not have a lot in common with the artic snow fox, and yet they can be friends. America, are u watching?

– For dinner I want to eat a box of cherry Pop Tarts and a can of Sprite. Instead: salmon and steamed broccoli. Fuck.

– “Gran Torino” is a great movie but it shouldve been called “Get Off My Lawn”.

– I just *knew* that the drivethru of the mcdonalds that was under construction would still be open. Kids, always believe in yourselves.

Continue reading “Mindy Kahling ROCKS!”