Hey, ya’ll! Simon here! Man, my daddy was all kinds of angry after that Steelers\Ravens game! And who could blame him? How could the Steelers’ D let the Ravens go 92 yards at the end of the game? Oh well. I went 7-7 last week, for a total of 32-21 for the season. Let’s see if I can come up with a better than winning record this week!
Oakland at San Diego: Ya’ll ever notice that Philip Rivers looks like a penis with ears? Simon sure has! As much as I’d like to see those sexy mens in black and silver come away with a victory, I think the Chargers win this game.
Atlanta at New Orleans: Oh my! The oldest, fiercest rivalry in the Southern wing of the NFL! My handsome Matty Lite and Latin lover Tony Gonzalez going up against Drew Breesus and that sexy Pierre Thomas! I do believe I might pass out in anticipation! Lord, please… someone catch me! [falls to the floor with a smile on his face] I’m sorry! Where was I? Oh yes – Atlanta and New Orleans… all those sweaty, sexy mens… It’s like a Saturday night at Mugzey’s! Anyway, as much as I like those Dirty Birds, the ‘Aints have been unstoppable at home this season! Pick the Saints with this one, although it should be one sexy, close game, honey!
Pittsburgh at Cincinnati: I’m not going to make Daddy mad by picking the Bungles here, but I will say this: the “good Steelers” will have to show up to win this game. Those outlaws from the other Queen City may actually be for real this year, and the Steelers can’t take them lightly. If Large Benjamin throws a pick too many, or if the Steelers D lets the Bungles back in the game… it could get ugly. I’m taking the Steelers, but I’m not at all confident about it.
St. Louis at Cleveland: Every week there’s one stinker of a game, and this is this week’s version. Colt McCoy is a big, ugly doofus… almost uglier than the Browns’ awful excuse for a defense. And the less said about the Rams and Sam Bradford the better. I’m taking the Browns, but the one way we could all win is if a freak lake-based tsunami were to consume Cleveland Browns Stadium and everyone in it!