Touching Sensitive Areas

OK, so I’ve been wallowing in my own bile about this for a couple of days here at the house. I’ve written this piece in my head a couple dozen times already. I tried to go the erudite way, mimicking William F. Buckley. I tried to go the sarcastic way, mimicking P.J. O’Rourke. I even thought about being as crude as possible, in hopes of making my point simply and clearly. And, in a way, that’s where I’m going with this. So let me say this, as simply as possible, and in bold text so you just can’t miss the point:

Nowhere in the United States Constitution will you find words “except in airports”. Just because someone buys a plane ticket, that doesn’t give the United States government the right to strip search them electronically or put their hands in inappropriate places.

Airport security has always been a joke, but that joke isn’t fucking funny anymore. Sure, it was kind of amusing when TSA banned lighters but not matches, or pocket knives but not knitting needles. It was funny when a TSA agent made the parents of a small child empty a plastic doll that had a liquid reservoir inside (so the doll could “pee”) because it might or might not have held more than 3 ounces of fluid. It was even funny when Adam Savage of Mythbusters had a TSA agent totally miss two 12″ razor blades he’d accidentally left in his bag:

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q3yaqq9Jjb4

But there’s nothing funny about what’s going on today. TSA’s agents and policies have always been arbitrary and capricious. What’s accepted at one airport is not accepted at another, and agents even sometimes argue amongst themselves about what’s acceptable or not. And God help the weary traveler who should get the TSA agent in a foul mood that day, lest that rent-a-cop with a badge decide to take his anger out on someone who doesn’t take their shoes off fast enough or walk though the metal detector right on cue. Just don’t cause too much trouble for the TSA agent citizen, or you might find yourself on a list. Or maybe you’ll get lucky and get the TSA agent in a “joking mood” who plants a white powder on you, pretends it’s drugs and threatens you with arrest. They’re a laugh a minute those TSA agents, especially when they use the cover of a fake childrens’ book – My First Cavity Search – as the wallpaper of their computers or when Philadelphia TSA agents give the “extra special search” to a woman in a Dallas Cowboys jersey:

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O5gtmRsyofk

But what’s worse, the laws surrounding air travel have been kept unconstitutionally secretive. Sure, the TSA happily and publicly posts lists of whatever items are banned on planes this week… but have you ever wondered what law(s) give the TSA the right to ban such items in the first place? Or ask for your identification? Or what questions a TSA agent might ask that you are legally required to answer?

Continue reading “Touching Sensitive Areas”

Oddball History Facts

– Thomas Jefferson was incredibly sloppy in many ways. His clothes were usually out of style, too small, and often threadbare. Instead of sitting properly in a chair, he was known for throwing his legs over one arm and reclining comfortably. His office and study often had massive piles of books and papers lying about in huge stacks. In other ways, though, Jefferson was amazingly meticulous. He recorded the weather and temperature every day of his adult life, and he faithfully recorded every penny he ever spent. His notes were so voluminous that Jefferson even felt the need to create a 650 page index of them! But his most amazing precision was saved for architecture. On his plans for Monticello, his home in Virginia, he specified a measurement of 1.8991666 inches. Even today, with the best computer-guided saws, it’s extremely difficult to cut any piece of wood to a millionth of an inch. Why Jefferson bothered is a mystery to this day.

– Worcestershire sauce was created by accident. Sort of. As the story goes, an English aristocrat returned from overseas with a burning desire to recreate a particular sauce he’d had in India. He approached two noted apothecaries, John Wheeley Lea and William Henry Perrins of Worcester, to see if they could reproduce the sauce. Based on the man’s description, Lea and Perrins mixed malt vinegar, molasses, sugar, salt, anchovies, tamarind extract, onions, garlic, cloves, soy sauce, lemons, pickles, peppers and other ingredients in a barrel. By all accounts, the new sauce was positively awful. However, instead of throwing the foul mixture away, the apothecaries decided to keep it for reasons unknown, and so the barrel was rolled into a basement corner. The barrel was rediscovered a couple of years later, and the men tasted the sauce again on a whim. Aging was the key, as the sauce had turned from awful to delicious.

– The first written record in the English language of someone drinking tea comes from the famous diary of Samuel Pepys. Pepys mentions that he drank tea for the first time on September 25, 1660. Oddly, he doesn’t say anything else about it, including whether or not he enjoyed it. What’s interesting about this whole thing is that Pepys’ comments were mentioned in an 1812 book by Scottish historian David Macpherson called History of the European Commerce with India. The thing is, although Pepys’ diaries were available for viewing at Oxford University at the time, no one ever had before. And the reason for that was because the diaries were written in an obscure form of shorthand that had fallen out of use. Pepys’ diaries were, for all intents and purposes, written in an unknown language. They were not translated into standard English until 1822. How Macpherson managed to find and translate a single line of text out of six volumes of Pepy’s diary is unknown.

– The first music ever broadcast over radio was probably “Ombra mai fù”, an aria from Georg Friedrich Händel’s opera Xerxes. I say “probably” because many people in many places were experimenting with radio at the time. However, the airing of “Ombra mai fù”, on December 24, 1906, is the first musical broadcast we know of for certain.

The McGurk Effect

The McGurk effect is an illusion that proves that what we hear is directly affected by what we see. It seems counter-intuitive that the sense of hearing can be affected by our vision, but it’s true. Check out this short clip from the BBC show Horizon to see how it works:

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ypd5txtGdGw

What makes the McGurk effect so especially interesting is that the illusion always works, even after the subject knows how it works. Most optical illusions, by contrast, seem to not work once the subject understands how it works. But the McGurk effect appears to be a fundamental part of the human mind.

Read more about it at Wikipedia here.

Food Network Geography Fail!

Like me, Lisa thinks Food Network is all kinds of ridiculous. But she still watches an episode of something here and there if the dishes mentioned in the program guide interest her. She also sometimes DVRs stuff she thinks I might like.

She recently recorded an episode of Meat and Potatoes (what the hell is this show and where did it come from?). I was watching the intro, and noticed a huge geography fail in it. Towards the end of the credits, a bunch of steak knives fly into a map of the US, and names of the cities appear underneath them, presumably to show you where the show has been. The only problem is that the knife for “Atlanta, Georgia” lands in northwestern Alabama:

fn geo fail 008
(click to embiggen)

I emailed this to the folks over at FoodNetworkHumor.com and they ran it! So now I’m an INTERNET SUPER STAR… although I don’t like how they said I was “one of the only 7 people in America” who watches the show. I don’t “watch” the show.. Lisa thought I might like this particular episode based on what the program guide said. I’m not a regular viewer of the show.

Quote of the Day

“The only way that I could figure they could improve upon Coca-Cola, one of life’s most delightful elixirs, which studies prove will heal the sick and occasionally raise the dead, is to put rum or bourbon in it.”

– Lewis Grizzard

Thanks to my friend Rich for this quote!

Twitter Weekly Updates for 2010-11-14

  • It was close, but I'll take the W! #
  • BREAKING: Mystery missile launched from Google headquarters; Skynet becomes self-aware! #
  • Thanks and God Bless, Vets! #
  • Boooo! AMC cancels "Rubicon": http://tinyurl.com/2bx5m32 #
  • Now getting Sepinwall's RSS feed, whichis pure awesomeness! Why oh why did I waste so much time with the new (lame) @TVSquad? #
  • Anyone gonna be in the area of 49 & 485 on Saturday? Lisa's working, and I'd like to try Aloha Hawaiian BBQ for lunch. #
  • @TikiDarling Too bad "The IT Crowd" is a Channel 4 show, not BBC. #
  • SWEET! Go Falcons! Steeler fans everywhere thank you! #
  • Madonna's "Like a Virgin" album came out on this date… 26 YEARS AGO! I'm not old! I'm not old! I'm not old! #
  • Wade Philips: Fired. Marvin Lewis: Still employed. Ponder. #
  • Just saw a '64 Rolls Royce Silver Cloud in Belmont. Unusual. #
  • A reminder: Lisa has to work tomorrow, so if anyone would like to meet for lunch at Aloha Hawaiian BBQ on S. Tryon I'm game! #
  • A beautiful day, the sunroof open, cranking old Cardigans tunes… nice! #
  • Oh joy… another Panthers game on TV tomorrow! #

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Random Browsing Tips

Just a few random web browsing tips for this Veteran’s Day:

– With most web browsers, you can simply drag and drop images to your desktop (or any other folder). So instead of right-clicking on an image and using the “Save As…” dialog, just click a picture and drag it to your desktop!

– With most browsers, you can quickly go to the end of a long web page by pressing the END key on your keyboard. Conversely, if you’re at the end of a long web page and want to go back to the top, press the HOME key.

– With most web browsers, pressing the F6 key will highlight the text in the address bar, so instead of grabbing the mouse, highlighting the address, and typing a new one, just press F6 and type in the address.

– In Firefox, pressing CTRL+K will move the cursor to the search box, and pressing CTRL + DOWN ARROW will cycle through the available search engines.

Urbanspoon and Other Stuff

Hi folks! A couple of quick website updates:

– I created an account at restaurant review site Urbanspoon.com a few days ago, and have cranked out 65 quick reviews of eateries in Charlotte, Atlanta, Charleston, Myrtle Beach and London. If you have time, check out my profile!

– I’ve added new icons to the sidebar. In addition to the existing RSS icon, you’ll now find ones for my Facebook, Twitter and Urbanspoon pages.

– I have also added a link to my Urbanspoon profile to the “Links” section at the bottom of the page. I also removed the link to my old Rotten Tomatoes page, since I haven’t written a movie review there in a few years.

– Obviously, the AllConsuming widgets are working now.

TIP OF THE DAY: Pizza Hut

By now you’ve probably seen the commercials: Pizza Hut is now offering any large, three-topping pizza for only $10, with their famous “specialty pizzas” costing “just $2 more”.

But here’s the thing: many of their specialty pizzas only have three toppings. So instead of ordering the “Hawaiian pizza” for $12, you can order a large pizza with ham, bacon and pineapple for $10. Instead of paying $12 for a large “Pepperoni Lovers”, order a large with double pepperoni and extra cheese for $10. Instead of paying $12 for a large “Triple Meat Italiano”, get a large with pepperoni, Italian sausage and ham for $10.

I realize this isn’t going to save folks a lot of money, but I figure it might help folks with kids who might order pizza once a week or so.