Forgotten Shows: American Gothic

TV networks cancel shows all the time. In many cases, it’s because the shows simply aren’t very good. Sometimes it’s because of politics: a network like Fox, for example, might cancel a show made by Universal to make room for a show made by 20th Century Fox (thus, keeping the profits “in the company”). Sometimes they’ll ditch a show (or bunch of shows) simply because they’re “changing their image”. Sometimes, though, networks just don’t know a good thing when they see it. They’ll order a show, and when the show underperforms, they’ll move it around the schedule or hassle the show’s writers into making changes. And sometimes, they’ll simply let a show die.

This is the case with American Gothic, a show that debuted on CBS in 1995. Set in the fictional town of Trinity, South Carolina, the show is the story of Lucas Buck (Gary Cole), an evil small town sheriff with a twist: he’s actually evil. The show never comes right out and says that Lucas Buck is the Devil, or a demon, or simply a human being that sold his soul to Satan for complete control over a small Southern town. But the effect is the same: Buck knows everything that happens in Trinity. He sometimes even knows what’s going to happen in advance (which is especially handy if you’re a corrupt law enforcement officer, no?). He can convince people into doing things simply by looking deep into their eyes. He can touch things and see events in the past. And since he knows everything about everybody, he’s able to help the townspeople in their more mundane affairs (like lending them money or settling neighborhood disputes). This creates an unknowing army of loaylists in the town. Lucas Buck, it seems, has everything all wrapped up.

But not quite. A few years ago, Buck raped a local woman, which led to the birth of his (as yet unacknowledged) son, Caleb Temple. Caleb’s mother to committed suicide shortly after Caleb was born, and as the show begins, we see Caleb’s father (Gage Temple, played by Sonny Shroyer – Enos from Dukes of Hazzard!) commit “suicide” under suspicious circumstances. Caleb’s older sister – Merlyn, played by Sarah Paulson of Deadwood and Studio 60 fame – witnessed the rape and had been a basket case ever since, spending her time rocking back and forth in a chair saying “someone’s at the door” over and over again. When Sheriff Buck goes to the Temple house to “reclaim” Caleb as his son after Gage’s suicide, Buck breaks Merlyn’s neck, causing her instant death. Later on, Caleb is sent to the local hospital for “observation” while the authorities figure out what to do with him now that his entire family is dead. While there, Merlyn’s ghost comes to him and begs him to leave:

American Gothic

Caleb then goes on the run from Sheriff Buck. As Caleb is only around 10 years old, his options are limited. However, Caleb is not alone. Former Trinity resident Gail Emory (Paige Turco), a “big city” reporter from Charleston, arrives back in town to learn more about the mysterious death of her parents (who ran the local newspaper and opposed Sheriff Buck on many occasions, only to die in a mysterious fire). Emory is joined by Dr. Matt Crower (Jake Weber), a “Yankee doctor” that’s new to Trinity. Emory, Crower and Merlyn’s ghost take Caleb under their wings, and do everything they can to keep Caleb away from Sheriff Buck.

The show, then, is a classic battle of “Good vs. Evil”, with a lot of supernatural elements thrown in for good measure. Although some of the special effects seem dated at this point, it’s the storytelling aspects of the show that make American Gothic so great. Although the heart of the story is about Lucas and Caleb, there are also a lot of small town regulars thrown in, giving the show a bit of a Twin Peaks feel. The producers of the show also get points for filming much of the series on location in South Carolina; you’ll often see tobacco plants and peach trees in the background instead of the mountains and deserts of California you so often see in other series.

And those of you that only know Gary Cole for his comedy roles in Office Space, Talladega Nights and the Brady Bunch films are in for a real treat: Cole’s Lucas Buck character is very well played. He’s “subtly evil”. There’s nothing about Buck that’s not human, or blatantly evil. There’s just something about him that gives you the willies and makes the hair on the back of your neck stand up.

Caleb Temple: I hate you!
Sheriff Buck: And someday, we’ll make that hate work for you.

And if I still haven’t interested you yet, take a look at the show’s pedigree: it was developed and produced by Shawn Cassidy (yes, the former teen heartthrob; he also produced the ABC show Invasion). Sam Raimi (the Spiderman films) and David Eick (Battlestar Galactica) also produced the series. So it’s got the deets.

The series is available from Netflix and can also be purchased from Amazon here.

Condé Nast buys Ars Technica

The news hit the Internet on Saturday, so I’m a bit late with this… but I just thought I’d mention that Condé Nast’s WIRED digital division has purchased Ars Technica, one of my all-time favorite web sites, for an undisclosed sum (guesstimated to be around $25 million).

I’ve been a member of Ars for 9 years now (can that be right?) and was terrified for the past couple of days at what might happen to the “little tech site that could”. Thankfully, Ken Fisher – the genius behind Ars – has written this post, which says that Ars will not change at bit, except to greatly expand its base. Instead of a handful of writers, Ars will now have a couple dozen, and the site will soon be opening offices in Chicago and San Francisco. Ken will be staying on as “Caesar”, so I’m sure that Ars will remain the site I know and love… only bigger and better!

It makes me all giddy inside. I’ve met half of the Ars staff over the years (Hi Jade!) and I feel like I know them personally. To me, they aren’t nameless faces running a website… they’re my friends! And so, I’ll just say this:

CONGRATULATIONS GUYS! SOLID GOLD TACOS FOR THE ARS STAFF!!

Classical Babes!

If you think of “fat women in Viking hats” when you hear the phrase “women in classical music”, you’re behind the times, my friend! There are tons of beautiful women in classical music today… here’s just a few:

Anne Sophie Mutter

Anne Sophie Mutter
(German violinist)

Helene Grimaud

Helene Grimaud
(French pianist)

Cecilia Bartoli

Cecilia Bartoli
(Italian mezzo-soprano)

Caroline Dale

Caroline Dale
(English cellist)

I used to have a huge crush on Anne Sophie Mutter. I was searching for something on Wikipedia last week when I stumbled across her picture and thought “Wow – ya know, she really is good looking”. So I dug up a few pictures of other “classical hotties” and thought I’d post them for your enjoyment. In doing so, I found Beauty in Music – a site dedicated to all the beautiful women that make classical music. It’s a fun site – if you get a few minutes, you should check it out!

Score!

Lisa and I stopped by the Harris Teeter the other day to pick up a few sale items. Imagine my surprise when I walked down the snack aisle and saw these:

Utz chips
The food of the gods!

Yes, Virginia… Utz Chips are now available in the Charlotte area!

They’ve been available in the Raleigh area for years now; I emailed the company a couple of years back and asked them when\if they were ever going to sell them in Charlotte. A nice lady replied that they were “working on a deal” but had no idea when it would happen. I guess the “deal” did finally go through… and now I can get my Utz Crab Chip jones on any time I want! And no, the crab chips don’t taste like crab; they’re seasoned with something similar to Old Bay, which is often used to season crab dishes in the Maryland\DC area.

Oh – and “Grandma Utz’s” chips are handcooked in lard! Healthy? No! Delicious? YES!

The Lost Tribe

The court of Queen Elizabeth I was a dour place, filled with sycophants decked out in the drab black cloaks fashionable at the time. But then Walter Raleigh showed up, dressed like a peacock in garish colors in a dizzying array of expensive fabrics like silks and damasks. Raleigh certainly dressed to impress – in 1584, he reported the theft of three clothing items worth almost £115 – which was more than enough money to run an entire household (including servants) for an entire year!

But Raleigh came to court with more than just nice clothes. He was intelligent, witty, and just plain charming. It was Walter Raleigh, for example, who allegedly laid one of his expensive cloaks over a mud puddle so that Elizabeth wouldn’t dirty her royal feet. He could play music, write poetry, flirt and talk about almost any issue in his West Country accent, which Elizabeth found perfectly adorable.

She quickly began lavishing gifts on Raleigh, from titles and royal appointments to estates and monopolies. It was the monopolies on wine licenses (granted by Elizabeth in 1583) and the export of wool (1585) that gave Raleigh immense wealth that he used to buy more of his beloved expensive clothes, to spare no expense in redecorating and refurbishing the estates that Elizabeth had given him, and to fund an entourage of 30 servants (each of whom needed their own set of fancy clothes, too!). Raleigh quickly rose from a virtual nobody to become one of the richest men in England, and he used his wealth in ways and quantities that shocked and staggered his contemporaries. Raleigh, indeed, threw money around in ways that would make even the gaudiest hip-hop mogul of today hang his head in disgust.

But Raleigh was more than just flash. He had a dream… a dream of an English colony in the wilderness of America. In 1584, Raleigh sent his first colony to Virginia (which then comprised a section of what would later become North Carolina). The colonists landed at Roanoke Island in present-day Dare County, North Carolina. The colonists would suffer greatly due to lack of food (mainly caused by poor selection of colonists) and troubled relations with local Indian tribes. The expedition ended in failure in 1586.

Raleigh found himself unable to fund a second trip on his own, so a joint-stock company was created. When enough investors had been lined up, Raleigh launched a second expedition in 1587. This group of colonists were supposed to stop by Roanoke Island and pick up a few soldiers left to guard the settlement after the first expedition left. They were then to settle somewhere north on Chesapeake Bay. However, Simon Fernandez, the captain of the colony’s main ship, the Susan Constant, unceremoniously dumped the colonists on Roanoke Island on July 22, 1587, as he wanted to get to the Caribbean as quickly as possible to loot Spanish treasure ships.

Although Raleigh and company promised the colonists a steady stream of supply ships, it wasn’t to be. By the time John White (a friend of Raleigh’s and overall commander of the expedition) arrived back in England from Roanoke, it was too late in the year to return to Virginia. Then the Spanish Armada sailed towards England, and every ocean-worthy ship was commandeered for the defense of the realm. White managed to get a special dispensation from the Queen to allow two small ships to sail to Roanoke in 1588, but the captains of these ships were greedy and tried to capture Spanish ships while in transit; instead, they were captured and the venture was a total loss.

Continue reading “The Lost Tribe”

Best Headline Ever!

Imagine the disappointment when people clicked on this BBC News story:

“Great tits cope well with warming”

No, the story is not about Gemma Atkinson… it’s about small British birds that are apparently unaffected by global warming (so far, anyway). There are some great lines in the story, though, such as: “The Royal Society for the Protection of Birds commented that other species are likely to fare much worse than great tits as temperatures rise”.

Personally, I am a huge fan of great tits and if I found out that great tits were being hurt in any way by global warming, I’d stop climate change all by myself (although one feels that I’d hardly be alone in this – most other men love great tits too!)

Seriously, the article does raise some interesting points. Britain’s great tits are adapting to change by laying their eggs earlier in the spring, since their main food supply – caterpillars – are appearing earlier in the spring as well. The exact same species of bird has not done the same thing in the Netherlands, and scientists are puzzled as to why not. Are British tits smarter than Dutch tits? Who knows? But I don know one thing… I could go on with the double entendres for hours!

ABC picks up Mars

It’s official, folks: according to Variety, ABC has picked up 13 episodes of the David E. Kelley-produced U.S. version of Life On Mars.

I’m both encouraged and terrified by this news. “Encouraged” because this will allow millions of people to enjoy the wonderful story that is Life On Mars. I’m also encouraged by early casting news, which has nothing but British or Irish actors listed so far. So perhaps the “U.S. version” will be a simple remake with a minimal amount of changes.

But then, I’m also terrified by what could happen. Perhaps one of the suits at ABC will demand that the show relocate to San Diego with Zac Efron as Sam Tyler, Ashton Kutcher as Gene Hunt and Jessica Simpson as Annie Cartwright (shudder!).

Still, it’s good to see the show being picked up. I’m intrigued to say the least… bring on the fall schedule!!

No, It’s NOT Ironic…

OK, so this is a pretty weak (not to mention short) rant, but here goes:

Am I the only American that’s just fed up with people that use the word “ironic” all the time without knowing what it really means? Irony is defined as:

[a]n intentional contradiction between what something appears to mean and what it really means. Irony is normally conveyed through contradictions between either what is said and what is meant or appearance and reality.

In casual usage, irony generally means “an outcome that is the opposite of what was intended or expected”. If someone spent their entire adult life working in a fire extinguisher factory and died when their house burned down (due to a lack of extinguisher)… that’s ironic. Someone’s house burning down on the day they make their last mortgage payment? Not ironic.

In other words, if porn star Ron Jeremy were to move to Virgin, North Carolina, that would be ironic, since Ron Jeremy is pretty much the opposite of a virgin. If, however, he moved to Infected Cock, North Carolina, that would not be ironic. It would be a coincidence (and a funny one at that)… but it wouldn’t be irony.

I guess my main rant here is that far too many people call something “ironic” when the proper word they should use is either coincidence” or sheer “bad luck”.

Speak the Queen’s English, people!